Tag Archive for 'major professor'

the art of the major professor hunt

Published on 1 year, 1 month ago in lab/graduate school. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

I’ve received some questions lately about how to find a good major professor and thought that I would address them in a post.

First off, I’m obviously not really one to be doling out such advice since I chose horribly wrong, but I suppose I could at least speak to the warning signs to look for when on the hunt for a major professor.

1. How many grad students/post-docs does he have? If your lab-to-be is as deserted as, well, the desert, you should go running for your life. Why? You would think that the fewer people in the lab, the more attention you’ll get. Though that may be true, do you really want attention from your major professor all of the time? Plus, fewer people in the lab means more meaningless non-PhD-related grunt work for you. And did you ever stop to think that maybe there’s no one in the lab because your major professor-to-be is impossible to work for and anyone with half a brain knew better than to work for him? Yeah, nothing says run for your life more than an empty lab.

2. How does your major professor treat the people who are in the lab? This question might be hard to assess without actually spending a lot of time in his lab. For the few weeks that you may be there for your rotation, everything might appear rosy if your major professor-to-be is good at hiding his mean streak (like mine was), but given enough time, the mean streak will come out. Do the people in his lab seem happy to be there? Or do they secretly lunch together and dish about what an ass your major professor-to-be is? When I was a fresh-faced undergrad in my major professor’s lab, the people there dropped hints to me about how he may not be as nice as he seemed, but I was too naive to catch the hints then and paid dearly for it. If you get the sense that someone is dropping you a hint, take it and run for your life. You can always thank them later.

3. Here’s a simple hint. Ask the other grad students in the lab how they like your major professor-to-be. Sure, they may lie through their teeth, but unless you’re completely socially inept, you should be able to tell when they’re lying.

4. Has your major professor-to-be had any experience with MD/PhD students? Your future mentor might be awesome all-around, but if he hasn’t had any experience with us special kids, you still might end up screwed, simply because he just doesn’t know how the program works and the corners that may have to be cut in order for you to finish your PhD in a decent amount of time. If your major professor-to-be has no experience, be frank and ask him what his specific goals are with you given that you are on a special track and how he plans to help you finish your PhD in the allotted time. Ideally, the two of you would come up with a schedule that you will hopefully stick to so that you don’t end up spending forever on your PhD. If he truly is a good major professor, he will be able to adapt to your being a special case.

5. For the daring: come up with some crazy idea for your PhD project and run it by your major professor-to-be and observe how he reacts. If he berates you, then it’s obvious you should run for your life. If he gently tells you how your idea is crazy but finds a grain of non-craziness in your idea and tells you how to develop that non-crazy point into a workable idea without making you feel like an idiot, then he may be a keeper. Just be careful of the ones who are subtly berating you for being an idiot…they sound like they’re being nice, but they’re really just telling you you’re an idiot. If he doesn’t mention a single good thing (no matter how small) about your crazy idea, then that’s your cue to run for your life.

6. If your major professor-to-be is constantly telling you how great he is or what a nice boss/mentor he is, then you should probably run for your life. Someone who’s really great won’t have to tell you how great he is. His lab atmosphere and the people in the lab will tell you that. If he’s going to great lengths to tell you how great things are, then chances are the exact opposite is true.

7. Go with your gut. Regardless of empirical evidence, you should go with your gut. Even if everyone in the lab seems happy and you hit it off with your major professor-to-be, if your gut has nagging doubts, you should listen to it. It’s probably right.

These tips are more common sense than anything, but they are good things to ask yourself when you’re evaluating a potential major professor. You will be spending many years with this person. This person will decide when you get to move on with your life and go back to med school. This person can make you hate science. Or he can make you love it even more. Learn from my mistakes and choose wisely. If just one reader gets the point and doesn’t make a fatal mistake in choosing their major professor, then I will finally feel that I have not blogged about all of my struggles in vain.

it’s so hard to say goodbye…

Published on 1 year, 3 months ago in lab/graduate school. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

...NOT!

So I went to see all of my committee members last week to give them final copies of my dissertation and thank you gifts. I had a nice long talk with Dr. Happy Surgery Collaborator and he genuinely complimented me on my work and how much skill I must have to have been able to rewrite my dissertation so fast. He’s always been nice to me, from when my experiments totally failed to going over my dissertation and helping me make sense out of the nonsense my major professor made me write. He was probably more of a mentor to me than my major professor ever was and I’ll miss working with him.

My other committee member was out-of-town, so that saved me plenty of awkwardness.

And finally, I had to go visit my major professor. I set up a specific time and everything with him, but when I showed up, I was told that he was in a meeting. I was surprised and asked what sort of meeting this was that he hadn’t told me about and learned that he was just bragging away to the poor new research associate in the lab next door. He likes to snag the impressionable ones early on to start his brainwashing. I figured that he would kick the poor soul out of his office once I showed up, but he didn’t. He just kept talking to her while I stood outside waiting. After awhile, he finally paused and asked me, “You have something for me?” without even getting out of his chair or ushering the poor soul out. So I just handed him my dissertation and left as he resumed his conversation with his victim. That was it. No “good job” or “congratulations” or “let’s work on a manuscript of your dissertation.” Sure, I wasn’t expecting much, but what he did was just shameful considering the hell he put me through. And I guess a fitting end to my ten years with him.

Throughout the whole process of writing my dissertation, he did not even manage to read my dissertation in its entirety once. He never made it past the introduction. He left all the work and editing to Dr. Happy Surgery Collaborator. And while both of my other committee members eventually commended me on a job well done, my major professor never uttered any such praise. All he managed to say was, “I’ll sign it. There are things I would have written differently, but I’ll sign it.” None of this makes me sad at all because it’s not at all surprising. His praise doesn’t mean anything anyway. I’ve actually found myself reading Dr. Happy Surgery Collaborator’s email in which he praised me over and over again because his praise means so much more because I actually respect him and I’m glad that I managed to live up to his expectations.

In the end, the path I’ve taken is one that I would not recommend to anyone unless they know exactly what they’re getting into. It sucks to no end and if you’re just a tad meek and non-outspoken, you will get lost in the shuffle and then be punished for it. Maybe it’s just my program that needs improvement. Maybe I’m just not cut-throat enough. Whatever the reason, let’s just say that if I knew then what I know now, I would have been perfectly happy with just an MD. Although, I still have to admit, the bragging rights are nice. And will be used to their fullest extent.

on second thought…

Published on 1 year, 5 months ago in lab/graduate school. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

I’m kinda screwed. Let’s count the ways:

1) My hypotheses suck. In my defense, I knew they sucked and I didn’t want to go with them, but my major professor made me. And now I get to look like an idiot when my committee member calls them “naive.”

2) My results suck. It’s not good when your baseline measurements are significantly different from each other.

3) My discussion sucks. That would be because no one told me how to write a dissertation discussion. And also because my hypotheses and results suck.

So yeah, I spent a week sulking over these sad facts. I finally got off my ass and started working on my revision today. And it’s not fun.

whoo hoo it’s revision time

Published on 1 year, 6 months ago in lab/graduate school. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

Just the thing I was waiting for. Revisions. Do I sound excited?

It was hard enough getting the damn dissertation out. Now I have to revise it? I’m not actually as incredulous as I might be sounding right now because I know that my writing and my logic are not perfect and I expected that I would have to make massive revisions. I’m actually glad that the comments are pretty mild and that I don’t have to rewrite the whole thing as I had feared. But that doesn’t mean that the task doesn’t seem daunting to me. Especially because my world has just been turned upside down by issues I would rather not discuss. Just when I was getting back on my feet, shit happens to knock me back down.

In any case, one of the reasons why I’m just a tad annoyed at some of the comments I received is that a lot of them are about things that my stupid major professor told me to say or do that I disagreed with but that he said were fine. And when they got called out and I pointed out to him that it was him who suggested them to me and forced me to write these things, he tried to deny it or imply that I had misunderstood what he had told me to do. He actually criticized me on something he himself told me to do and which I hesitated to do! When other reviewers point out these things, it’s not like I get to defend myself and say to them, “But my major professor made me do it!” I just get stuck with these reviewers believing that I’m an idiot when I’m not. And that’s why this whole revision stings a little bit. Not because I think I’m perfect, but because not all of the mistakes are mine.

But what can I do, right? It’s always been like this with my major professor. If I just suck it up this time around, then I can be done with him for good!

yatta! it’s done!

Published on 1 year, 6 months ago in lab/graduate school. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

FINALLY! I completed my first draft of my dissertation last Thursday, just in time to go on vacation! I can’t believe it took so long and all I wrote was 94 double-spaced pages. Looking back, it was really my own inertia that prevented me from finishing…the task just seemed so monumental that there was no point in starting, even when I had already finished everything but the discussion. I literally sat on my ass and watched my puppy for three weeks instead of working on it. When I finally did start writing again, all it took was a week for me to finish! Of course, it’s not done until I get my committee’s signatures and turn it in, which will probably require several painful revisions, but at least I’m over the first hurdle. I just hope my major professor can put his narcissism aside for a moment and not nitpick every word I’ve written. Not likely, but I can still dream…

update: of puppies, chanel, and iphones

Published on 1 year, 7 months ago in lab/graduate school, married life and medical school. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Yes, I’ve been MIA again. It’s really hard to write when I’m too busy being a blob.

I deferred my second rotation because the ghost of my dissertation just would not stop haunting me. Translation: my asshole major professor kept demanding a draft from me despite the fact that no one really expects us to pump out a dissertation during our third year of med school. It was a tough decision, but it was just something I had to do in order to make sure that I could focus completely on my rotations so that I don’t fail. One can skate by with only half a mind on Psych, but not while on Peds or Medicine. And I’ve been making good progress so far.

This whole deferment has allowed me to enjoy life a bit more, which is good because I’ve learned to appreciate the little things, like watching my adorable corgi puppy sleep in my lap all day long. It’s also bad because I will have to learn to live a shadow of a life once I return in August. I’m not yet sure how I’ll deal with that yet, but my preliminary plan involves large amounts of Prozac.* Speaking of my puppy, he is absolutely awesome! He’s the cutest thing ever! I always thought that I would miss him having a tail (my other dog has a really fluffy tail that has a tendency to knock things over quite often), but I now find my puppy’s little nubbin to be quite adequate at expressing his emotions and quite cute to boot. From behind, he looks like a bunny hopping when he runs. He’s a handful, but nothing compared to the horror stories I’ve heard about other breeds. I definitely cannot imagine my life without him and can see why Queen Elizabeth II has a bunch of corgis.

What else is new? Well, say hello to my new acquisition:

Isn’t it pretty? It better be because it costed $1000 more than our 52″ LCD TV. I could also have bought the Macbook Air with the amount of money I spent on this purse. Or that Canon 40D DSLR that I’ve been coveting for a year now. But, no, because I am a woman after all, I instead blow my money on a Chanel purse. And all because it’s purple and shiny and super-limited-edition. It was supposed to be my reward for finishing my first draft of my dissertation. I was just at the boutique to try it on so that my husband could then later buy it for me when I fulfilled my end of the bargain, but we ended up buying it because Chanel newbie that I am didn’t realize what incredible good fortune I had to even be able to find it at this late juncture, but at least had the good sense to know that I would forever kick myself if I passed it up. So I possess this purse that I wasn’t planning to buy for another 10 years now and I am quite broke. It is also still all boxed up (my husband was kind enough to let me take it out for a few hours to take pictures of it) waiting for me to finish that draft before it can come out and play. And now you know why I’ve been so productive as of late.

And lastly, somehow beyond all reason, my husband was able to convince me to wake up at 4:30 am the morning of July 11th to head out to our local Apple store to wait in line for the iPhone 3G. Because, of course, I just had to have it. So that’s what we did. And it was quite the interesting experience. We were, of course, not the only crazies as there were already 50ish people there by the time we got there and the line grew to well over 100 people by the time the Apple store opened. I thought I would feel really lame about waiting in line for a phone, but I have to say that I was glad to have experienced it. Of course, my shiny new iPhone 3G was defective and I had to go back a week later to get it replaced, but at least I have one now. By the way, it’s also all sorts of awesome.

*I kid. Sort of.

as the match nears, shadiness abounds

Published on 1 year, 11 months ago in lab/graduate school and medical school. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

So, as you all know, Teacher’s Pet has been the bane of my existence in the lab for awhile now. I mistakenly thought that she had quit medicine because she cared too much about her patients or some other BS like that, but it turns out that she just quit her internal medicine residency and instead wants to get into another specialty. That’s why she hooked up with my major professor–because he’s in the department of her specialty of choice and she wanted an in.

Well, she applied this year and Match Day is tomorrow. She already knows that she matched and is waiting to find out where. And in the two days that I’ve been at the lab, all I keep hearing is, “If you match here…” or “Who knows…you might end up in Timbuktu…” or “Well, we don’t know yet if you’ll be here…” which is normal I suppose, but for some reason, has been sounding ultra sketchy coming out of my major professor’s mouth, the chair of the department’s mouth, and the chair’s minion’s mouth. They just all sound like they’re saying, “Duuuuuh. Of course you matched here. We made sure of it.” They might as well be wink-wink-nudge-nudge-ing when they say these things because it’s just that obvious. And that just makes me angry. I understand that these shady things happen and I probably can’t do anything about it but play the game. But does it really have to be so blatant? Bad enough that they’re screwing other people (who might have gone about the whole thing in an honest way…that would be novel, wouldn’t it?) over, but do they really have to broadcast it too?

Well, maybe I’m reading too much into things and I’m wrong. But I would be very surprised if she doesn’t match here. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

awkward encounters of the ex-semi-boyfriend kind

Published on 1 year, 12 months ago in lab/graduate school. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , , , .

I had a pretty tiring weekend and an extra tossy-and-turny-sleeping husband the last couple of nights, so I wasn’t quite 100% today. Even though I woke up early enough to primp myself up nicely, I chose to stay in bed a little longer and sleep in a bit. Who’s going to be at lab that I give a crap about anyway, right?

And since I was running around trying to get my immunization records all straightened out (since it seems the med school has magically lost all such information), I was kind of frazzled. As I turned into the hallway to my lab bench, I saw my major professor with someone, but didn’t really pay attention to who it was because I didn’t care and had better things to do. And he usually doesn’t introduce me to his visitors anymore–that spot’s been filled by Teacher’s Pet. So imagine my surprise when he calls out my name and makes me stop dead in my tracks, asking me if I remember his visitor. I take a look, and of course I do. It’s my ex-lab mate and his wife. Fun, I think to myself. And why, oh why didn’t I wake up early and pretty myself up? But then, I take solace in the fact that his wife looks scrubbier than me despite probably knowing full well that she would probably run into me, the chick who probably scarred her husband for life.* Awkward conversation follows and I beat a hasty retreat, glad that I didn’t stick with this guy because he got kind of chubby and still looks like a supernerd. Though I did feel kind of sorry for him because his wife looks and sounds like a bitch and he got chubby…

Even though things ended badly and I probably could have been nicer about “dumping” him, I’m good friends with his sister. We get along so well that I sometimes wish she was my sister-in-law instead of the bitch that I’m stuck with. Though seeing as to how they always come visit my major professor every time they’re in town even though he’s a narcissistic ass probably because his parents make them, I’m pretty glad I don’t have his parents as my in-laws. Ah, tradeoffs. Well, I’d much rather have my husband anyway, even if all of the in-law drama almost negates it. Guess that encounter triggered some introspection on my part, awkward as it was.

*DISCLAIMER: I didn’t purposely scar this guy for life. We were never even a couple. He’s just fragile. And took things way too seriously. And didn’t know when to back off. And never had a real girlfriend until he met and married his wife. So yeah. I’m no cold heartbreaker. Really. And no, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking getting involved with such a dork. We were all young and stupid at some point, right?