Surprisingly enough, it’s been a rather quiet holiday season here for me. I got all of my Christmas shopping done nice and early (and mostly online as well), so I didn’t have to partake in any of that last-minute nonsense. The in-laws are too busy groveling to Miniman to give a shit about what I say or do. I’m spending plenty of time relaxing with my two wonderful dogs. Things are good. Hope they are for you too!
Tag Archive for 'in-laws'
Or not. I’m ever the cynic, so although I’m hoping against hope that what I hear is true, I’m prepared for it to all be a sham. “So, stop stalling and give us the news already!” you say?
Well…
*drum roll*
Not-so-dear brother-in-law finally broke up with his super-psycho-super-fugly girlfriend!
Yep, your eyes are not deceiving you. Against all odds, it has finally happened. So why am I still so pessismistic about the whole thing? Well, for many reasons.
1. Not-so-dear brother-in-law claims they broke up in December. Yet we only hear about it now. Even though he got into a big fight with my husband over her and not-so-dear brother-in-law could have easily ended it by telling my husband that she was out of the picture. But since I have no idea when exactly they broke up, it could have very well happened after that fight (though not likely based on the double entendres that were coming out of sister-in-law’s mouth during another visit around Christmas). Now, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he broke up with her after the fight. Then why didn’t he tell my husband sometime before now knowing that it was mainly her being such a pervasive negative part of his life that led to the destruction of my husband’s and his once quite close relationship?
2. They are still living together. Not in the same room, but in the same condo, in rooms that are right next to each other. Not to mention that it took them breaking up before he finally admitted that they were living together even though it was more obvious than global warming. And we all know that continuing to see and talk to each other everyday doesn’t really constitute a break-up, does it?
3. They’re still doing stuff together. Albeit it seems that it’s because they have so many mutual friends since she didn’t allow him to make any friends of his own. But still, in that situation, I’d make new friends. Again, just like reason #2, doing stuff together after breaking up doesn’t really constitute a break-up.
4. She seems to still be pining away for him (thank you, Facebook). Which makes the fact that they still live together and do stuff together extra scary.
5. I really cannot believe that this crazy psycho bitch actually let him break up with her without forcing him to stay by threatening suicide or some other crazy thing. So, really, it could all just be a big fat lie.
I think I have some valid concerns here, don’t you? I believe that when you break up with a person, you should always cut all contact for a period of time so that both of you can process the break-up and move on before resuming a friendship if such a thing is so desired. Somehow magically flipping a switch between doing the nasty every night to being just mere friends doesn’t seem too realistic at all and is just asking for failure and more drama. Not to mention the fact that no new love interest is going to be willing to date you with your ex looming so close, which then makes you think you’re undesirable, leading you to fall back into the arms of your ex.
Despite all these reasons, I try to remain cautiously optimistic because not-so-dear brother-in-law’s bout with this batshit crazy girl has taken him down a notch…or five. Two summers ago when he was here with passive aggressive cousin-in-law, not-so-dear brother-in-law acted like he was the shit and that he was better than me (we all know that he’s not even close to being in the same league). But now, he’s actually having to take an extra year to finish school because he needs to raise his GPA to be competitive for optometry school and because he needs more time to study for the OAT. Seriously? Not to be a total snob, but optometry school is nowhere near as competitive as med school and his GPA is too shitty even for that?! And we all remember how he claimed many times over that he needed to go back to school during summers and breaks early to study for the OAT, what, TWO years ago?! And after more than two years of “studying,” he still hasn’t taken the damn test?! Again, the OAT is nothing compared to the MCAT. I know plenty of people who sucked at the MCAT but aced the OAT. What does that tell you? Of course, that super-fugly-super-psycho girlfriend totally dragged his ass down. The kicker here is she did just fine and is graduating on time and has gotten accepted to professional school. Gotta love that, right? Anyway, my point is that hopefully, if I am right, the reason he finally dumped her ass was because he finally, now that all of his peers are moving on and he’s not, has realized that she fucked him over badly and realizes that if he doesn’t want to become a complete loser, he has to get rid of her. If this is, in fact, his reasoning, then I have hope yet that he won’t end up back with her because there’s nothing this guy hates more than failure. That and the prospect of mother-in-law finding out her golden child is a failure must scare him more than anything. But do these things scare him enough to counteract all of the things he has going against him listed above?
What do you think? Will this break-up stick?
I had a pretty tiring weekend and an extra tossy-and-turny-sleeping husband the last couple of nights, so I wasn’t quite 100% today. Even though I woke up early enough to primp myself up nicely, I chose to stay in bed a little longer and sleep in a bit. Who’s going to be at lab that I give a crap about anyway, right?
And since I was running around trying to get my immunization records all straightened out (since it seems the med school has magically lost all such information), I was kind of frazzled. As I turned into the hallway to my lab bench, I saw my major professor with someone, but didn’t really pay attention to who it was because I didn’t care and had better things to do. And he usually doesn’t introduce me to his visitors anymore–that spot’s been filled by Teacher’s Pet. So imagine my surprise when he calls out my name and makes me stop dead in my tracks, asking me if I remember his visitor. I take a look, and of course I do. It’s my ex-lab mate and his wife. Fun, I think to myself. And why, oh why didn’t I wake up early and pretty myself up? But then, I take solace in the fact that his wife looks scrubbier than me despite probably knowing full well that she would probably run into me, the chick who probably scarred her husband for life.* Awkward conversation follows and I beat a hasty retreat, glad that I didn’t stick with this guy because he got kind of chubby and still looks like a supernerd. Though I did feel kind of sorry for him because his wife looks and sounds like a bitch and he got chubby…
Even though things ended badly and I probably could have been nicer about “dumping” him, I’m good friends with his sister. We get along so well that I sometimes wish she was my sister-in-law instead of the bitch that I’m stuck with. Though seeing as to how they always come visit my major professor every time they’re in town even though he’s a narcissistic ass probably because his parents make them, I’m pretty glad I don’t have his parents as my in-laws. Ah, tradeoffs. Well, I’d much rather have my husband anyway, even if all of the in-law drama almost negates it. Guess that encounter triggered some introspection on my part, awkward as it was.
*DISCLAIMER: I didn’t purposely scar this guy for life. We were never even a couple. He’s just fragile. And took things way too seriously. And didn’t know when to back off. And never had a real girlfriend until he met and married his wife. So yeah. I’m no cold heartbreaker. Really. And no, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking getting involved with such a dork. We were all young and stupid at some point, right?
I haven’t been posting much lately, but once I get through with this doozy of a story, you’ll understand why.
Two weeks ago, we got our arms twisted into visiting the in-laws because these super-awesome relatives from outside of the country came to visit (which they only do once every 10 years or so) and we were obligated to see them because they gave us soooo much money when we got married (Asians like to give money at weddings, and no, their little monetary gift was no where near the top sum that we received). Trust me, I complained about it as much as I could, but to no avail, because even in my bitter little heart, I myself was raised too well to not visit them. Of course, being agreeable didn’t make the visit any less painful. I wanted to give them some sort of nice gift (because Asian people also like to give gifts to people they visit), but of course, mother-in-law had different ideas and silly husband graciously gave in to her plan without so much as consulting with me first. Her idea, of course, was much more painful to my wallet as it involved taking these visitors plus any other relative who decided to tag along out to lunch. I protested and I protested, but of course, I failed. So now I’m out $120 when I didn’t have to be if only I had decided not to show up until dinner time for the going-away party that one of the other relatives was hosting. Why didn’t I make the obviously smarter choice? Well, because mother-in-law claimed that the party wasn’t happening because the out-of-towners were leaving that night. Liar, much?
But you know what? I was okay with it. Or at least I convinced myself that I was. I figured that my $120 was well-spent towards earning good will from these relatives as well as mother-in-law. Now, all we had to do was take father-in-law out to lunch for his birthday the next day. Of course, there’s no such thing as taking father-in-law out without taking the mother-in-law out as well and I was resigned to that fate as well. What does father-in-law do? He orders lobster, of course! Which is fine and dandy as long as I can get this whole thing over with as fast as I can. But no, we get dragged back to their house where he proceeds to show us his vacation plans and inform us that we’re paying! You see, he could never go on vacation before because he was always busy working and now that he’s been laid off, he figures it’s the perfect time to go visit his homeland! On our dime, of course! Not only that, but when he failed to show up for lunch the day before with his own brothers and sister, it was because he was job hunting. And planning this trip at the travel agency! What exactly possesses somebody who just lost their job to decide to take a $1000 vacation?! What exactly makes these people think my money is theirs? I really wish I knew. By this time, I was beyond angry. So angry that I was going to make a scene. So my husband and I made a hasty retreat.
But, of course, running away did not quell my anger. So I figure that if I’m going to be out $1000 (which we really needed, by the way, as we’re still trying to recover from our excessive spending these last couple of  months as well as gearing up to pay income tax, property tax, and house insurance bills), I might as well make them feel really bad about it. Of course, I should have realized that such a thing was impossible since they’re under the impression that our money is their money. Of course, my other mistake was trying to make my husband the messenger since he is absolutely horrible at not being a doormat. In the end, all he succeeded in doing was make me look like a greedy wife unwilling to help out his poor dad who has never taken a vacation in his life. Trust me. I’m Asian too and my parents raised me well. I know that kids are supposed to “help” their parents when they grow up and have successful jobs. But you see, the key words here are: when we grow up and have jobs. Does it look like I have a successful job here? I’m not even done with school yet! And my husband? Well, he’s gone back to school! So now is absolutely not the time to be taking our money. It’s not that we’re selfish. We just can’t afford it!
So, after bitching at my husband late into the night, I fall into an angry sleep. And wake up the next morning with a plan. If I’m going to be out $1000, I damn well am going to tell these people exactly what I think of them. My husband thinks that I will only make things worse, but really…they hate me already…what am I going to do? Make them hate me more? I have nothing to lose. So because he’s a scaredy-cat, I drive down to their place myself to give them a piece of my mind. The fact that mother-in-law was absolutely terrified at seeing me alone was almost enough to make the whole thing worth it. I’m pretty sure she thought I had my husband’s body in the trunk of my car. But, of course, it went downhill from there. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise as she was always interrupting me when it wasn’t even any of her business (since her trip was already paid for by sister-in-law). And father-in-law wouldn’t even tear his eyes away from his newspaper to look at me while I was speaking to him (just like how my husband won’t tear his eyes away from his computer screen when I talk to him…if nothing else, this little trip gave me insight into where my husband got all of his annoying habits from). So of course, I’m getting angrier by the minute. And then, a visitor shows up! And because we’re Asian and we must save face and not allow outsiders to see any discord, I had to pretend that we weren’t just arguing two seconds before this visitor walked up to the door. In the end, I said what I wanted to say, which was rather satisfying. But then the both of them had to say things that riled me back up and that continue to rile me up to this day because I held my tongue in response to their comments. What did they say? Well, that’s a whole other post and this one is already way too long. So I left them with their precious $1000 check and underwent a little retail therapy (yeah, not a good idea since I was now quite broke, but hey, it’s that or kill them).
You would think the story ends there, but it doesn’t. Because it’s been over a week since I handed them that check and they still haven’t cashed it yet. Even after I told them that if they didn’t cash it, I would personally return to their house with $1000 in cash and throw it at them, they still have not cashed it. Even though they’re scheduled to leave this Friday, they have not cashed it and bought father-in-law’s plane tickets. Even though they caused so much drama to get this money, they have not cashed it. Why can’t they make anything easy for me? First, they want my money. And now, they’re making it hard for me to give them the money. These people are seriously trying to put me in the crazy house. I told my husband to relay them the message that if they do not cash the check by Thursday, I’m driving to their place and assaulting them with cash. They should know damn well that I will do it too. I’m really hoping they know what’s good for them. Because, really, I don’t want to spend my Valentine’s Day with them.
So that’s my story. Unbelievable, no? Well, I hardly believe it myself. Even now. That’s why I was sort of MIA last week. Because I was sulking over this whole situation and processing it. Oh, and bitching at my husband to never let it happen again if he doesn’t want to live the rest of his life in the personal hell I will create for him if he fails to prevent another such situation. Because, really, this all could have been prevented if he wasn’t such a damn doormat.Â
Unluckily enough for me, my holidays were chock full of in-law action (or inaction depending on how you look at it).  And after yet another Christmas where I ended up with re-gifts and gift cards to places I don’t shop after I put a lot of thought and money into their presents combined with their blatant hypocrisy, I’m done with them.  I seldom take leaps or put my faith into people because that’s just not how I am.  But I (foolishly) put myself out there with them because I thought we could all be family…that I would have a motherly figure in my life again, a sister, and brothers who would actually listen to me (my brothers have since come around).  But everything that has happened with my in-laws since the day I got married has only served to remind me of exactly why I put a huge wall around myself that few people ever manage to scale.  And to show me how big of an idiot I was to believe even for a second that I was going to gain another loving family.  So my song for this week is Paramore – For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic because I put my faith in these people and they just threw it away.  And then some.
As usual, send song suggestions here.
I know, I know. Â I disappeared for awhile there. Â Hopefully I haven’t lost all two of my readers with my little vanishing act, but I was just so ready for a vacation from everything, including blogging. Â But now, it’s a new year and I’m back…and with plenty of gossip.
I was cautiously looking forward to a mostly inlawless holiday season because mother-in-law and the two brothers-in-law claimed to be going out of town to ruin someone else’s Christmas. Â I suspected it was too good to be true and I was right. Â Turns out the plane tickets were too expensive and no one bothered to inform my husband or me of their change in plans. Â So Christmas day I find myself at their house yet again with everyone acting awkward, awkward, awkward. Â It didn’t help that sister-in-law’s miniman was there yet again. Â They’ve only been dating for six months or so and yet he’s coming over for all holidays and sleeping in the same bedroom as her and everything. Â I don’t understand how she is getting away with this because just two years ago, mother-in-law flipped out when she bought queen-sized bed sheets because she thought it meant sister-in-law was living with her man-of-the-moment.
And did I mention that this miniman is an absolute sleaze? Yeah, I can’t even look at him straight because I’m scared he’s undressing me with his eyes. Â He was super flirty with sister-in-law’s 17-year-old cousin. Â So flirty that even my usually completely oblivious husband noticed. Â And all in front of sister-in-law’s face. Â I’m sure in her delusional mind she was thinking that his behavior indicated that he would be great with kids. Â Yeah, sure, great at molesting kids maybe.
But despite all of his sketchiness, my husband’s family seems to be embracing him and treating him with the utmost respect. Â Too much, even. Â I firmly believe that their behavior has something to do with the fact that he’s Caucasian and they’re not. Â As an outsider looking in, what I see is them acting totally submissive because they subconsciously think he’s better than them because he’s Caucasian. Â I called my husband out on it, but he denied it. Â Then in the next breath, he’s talking in the most submissive tone possible to this sleazebag. He doesn’t even speak so sweetly to me. Â It really made me sick. Â And it made me really want to open my mouth and treat him how he deserves to be treated. But, unfortunately, it just wasn’t my place and I knew it. Â So I kept my mouth shut even though it drove me absolutely crazy to do so.
Then it was time to open gifts. Â But it was just my husband and I doing the opening. Â Because they were incredibly impatient and just had to open their gifts at midnight. Â I wasn’t expecting much, but somehow, they still managed to disappoint. Â Not only that, but sister-in-law, the very same sister-in-law who shows up each time with a different LV or Kate Spade or Coach bag and whose eyes light up every time any brand name is mentioned, blatantly gave me re-gifts. Â It’s kind of hard to pretend you like a men’s grooming kit. Â And expired lotion. Â I kid you not. Â Too bad I didn’t discover the fact that the lotion was expired until later. Â Or else I would have completely rubbed it in her face right then and there. Â Quite literally, in fact.
So, yes, long story, but after that little discovery, I decided that I don’t give a crap about sister-in-law ending up with a pedophile miniman who’s probably going to molest their children and cheat on her with his hot young dental assistant. Â That’s what she gets for giving me re-gifts when I put a lot of thought and money into her gift. Oh yeah, and for being an utter and complete bitch. Â I just have to remember to keep my own kids far, far away from this guy in the future. Â At least I’ll have a good excuse for boycotting every single family function.
…and yeah, I would tend to agree that it’s a tad early for me to even be thinking about them, but I just can’t help it when I go to the store to buy some Halloween candy only to be inundated with Christmas stuff already. Couldn’t I at least have Halloween in peace without the specter of the holidays looming ahead? I’ve been kind of complacent, believing that I have my holiday shopping taken care of, but the people who are the hardest to find gifts for still remain giftless. Not only that, but sister-in-law is already trying to figure out our Thanksgiving schedule. What a hypocrite she is, by the way, because we never heard the end of it when we wanted to skip out on Thanksgiving last year and this year, but she nonchalantly tells us that she won’t be around for Thanksgiving day because she’s spending it kissing her MiniMan’s family’s ass. And they’re just dating (I’m pretty sure that if my husband had skipped out on Thanksgiving with his precious family when we were just dating, he would have been disowned). And he’s mini. As much as I want her to suffer single forever, I think that I will be just as amused if she marries him because he’s mini. So mini that she kind of slumps over in pictures with him so that he doesn’t look so mini. Yeah.
