my life, my pace

Yes, I’ve been MIA again. It’s really hard to write when I’m too busy being a blob.

I deferred my second rotation because the ghost of my dissertation just would not stop haunting me. Translation: my asshole major professor kept demanding a draft from me despite the fact that no one really expects us to pump out a dissertation during our third year of med school. It was a tough decision, but it was just something I had to do in order to make sure that I could focus completely on my rotations so that I don’t fail. One can skate by with only half a mind on Psych, but not while on Peds or Medicine. And I’ve been making good progress so far.

This whole deferment has allowed me to enjoy life a bit more, which is good because I’ve learned to appreciate the little things, like watching my adorable corgi puppy sleep in my lap all day long. It’s also bad because I will have to learn to live a shadow of a life once I return in August. I’m not yet sure how I’ll deal with that yet, but my preliminary plan involves large amounts of Prozac.* Speaking of my puppy, he is absolutely awesome! He’s the cutest thing ever! I always thought that I would miss him having a tail (my other dog has a really fluffy tail that has a tendency to knock things over quite often), but I now find my puppy’s little nubbin to be quite adequate at expressing his emotions and quite cute to boot. From behind, he looks like a bunny hopping when he runs. He’s a handful, but nothing compared to the horror stories I’ve heard about other breeds. I definitely cannot imagine my life without him and can see why Queen Elizabeth II has a bunch of corgis.

What else is new? Well, say hello to my new acquisition:

Isn’t it pretty? It better be because it costed $1000 more than our 52″ LCD TV. I could also have bought the Macbook Air with the amount of money I spent on this purse. Or that Canon 40D DSLR that I’ve been coveting for a year now. But, no, because I am a woman after all, I instead blow my money on a Chanel purse. And all because it’s purple and shiny and super-limited-edition. It was supposed to be my reward for finishing my first draft of my dissertation. I was just at the boutique to try it on so that my husband could then later buy it for me when I fulfilled my end of the bargain, but we ended up buying it because Chanel newbie that I am didn’t realize what incredible good fortune I had to even be able to find it at this late juncture, but at least had the good sense to know that I would forever kick myself if I passed it up. So I possess this purse that I wasn’t planning to buy for another 10 years now and I am quite broke. It is also still all boxed up (my husband was kind enough to let me take it out for a few hours to take pictures of it) waiting for me to finish that draft before it can come out and play. And now you know why I’ve been so productive as of late.

And lastly, somehow beyond all reason, my husband was able to convince me to wake up at 4:30 am the morning of July 11th to head out to our local Apple store to wait in line for the iPhone 3G. Because, of course, I just had to have it. So that’s what we did. And it was quite the interesting experience. We were, of course, not the only crazies as there were already 50ish people there by the time we got there and the line grew to well over 100 people by the time the Apple store opened. I thought I would feel really lame about waiting in line for a phone, but I have to say that I was glad to have experienced it. Of course, my shiny new iPhone 3G was defective and I had to go back a week later to get it replaced, but at least I have one now. By the way, it’s also all sorts of awesome.

*I kid. Sort of.

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1. yatta! it’s done!FINALLY! I completed my first draft of my dissertation last Thursday, just in time to go on vacation! I can't believe it took so long and all I wrote was 94 double-spaced pages. Looking back, it was really my own inertia that prevented me from finishing...the task just seemed so monumental that there was no point in starting, even when I had already finished everything but the discussion. I literally sat on my ass and watched my puppy for three weeks instead of working on it. When I finally did start writing again, all it took was a week for me to finish! Of course, it's not done until I get my committee's signatures and turn it in, which will probably require several painful revisions, but at least I'm over the first hurdle. I just hope my major professor can put his narcissism aside for a moment and not nitpick every word I've written. Not likely, but I can still dream......
2. one step forward, three steps back…The good news (I think): I'm finally almost done with my dissertation revision. I could have it done by the end of this week if my thoughts didn't keep fluctuating and then focusing on how ephemeral life is. That and the fact that all I have left to finish is the discussion. One section doesn't sound tough, but it is the section that needs the most work and the one that is the most difficult for me to write. The bad news (or maybe not so bad if you really think about it): I've been asked to consider stopping my clinical work (read: my third year) and starting up again with next year's class so that I would have my dissertation completely behind me and be able to start completely fresh instead of jumping back in with now super-experienced third years with only psychiatry under my belt. I have mixed feelings about this particular strategy. On the one hand, I do need that extra time to "prepare" myself as best I can by reviewing things like the physical exam and clinical reasoning, which I never was very good at in the first place. Also, since I've already done one rotation, I can take my last block off and study for Step 2, which I need to do well on since I'm going after Radiology. Oh yeah, and if I were to really return on rotation 5 as planned, I would be so far behind that I would not have any...
3. puppy feverI've wanted a corgi ever since my first dog, which was likely a corgi/cocker spaniel mix, died during my second year of med school. But after adopting my current dog and then another dog and then realizing that I couldn't quite handle taking care of two dogs alone, I decided that I would stick to my one very low maintenance dog. But every once in awhile, I get bitten by the I-want-a-puppy bug and ask my husband if I can get a corgi. He usually says, "Okay" and we never speak of it again. Well, I was bitten again recently and asked my husband if I could get a corgi. This time, however, he responded with, "Let's do it!" I still didn't think he was serious, even as I watched him look up breeders. Then he started showing me pictures of available puppies and talking about deposits and such and it dawned on me that he was really serious. Which led me to back things up and tell him that I wasn't serious about wanting a puppy...that it's just one of those things that I want but can never find the time to have. Which got me the whole "life is short" (as if I need to be told that) lecture. Well, to make a long story short, there was no way I was going to be able to resist once I saw the cute puppies and found one to my liking. So now, we're expecting a little bundle of...

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