The grant that partially funds my salary includes several MDs as co-investigators. These MDs somehow find time in their oh-so-busy schedules to attend our marathon monthly meetings. I try to stay away from them because they seem kind of…mean. Especially this one peds guy who looks like he has a stick perpetually stuck up his ass. It doesn’t help that he seems to have something against my major professor and his work. Could it be perhaps that he knows that he’s a fraud?
Well, at one of these said meetings, I show up early because I want a seat far away from the chair of the department and as close to the door as possible. Mean Peds Guy is also early as well as a coworker of mine, Teacher’s Pet, and my major professor. Of course, I choose to converse with my coworker rather than talk to and feed my major professor’s narcissism. Being the narcissist that he is, he can’t stand sitting there unnoticed, so he opens his big mouth and starts talking to Mean Peds Guy.
MAJOR PROFESSOR: You know, she’s starting her rotations soon. [obviously referring to me]
MEAN PEDS GUY [looking like he could care less]: Oh really.
I give a sheepish half smile.
MAJOR PROFESSOR: Yes. So you’re going to be nice of her when she’s on peds, right?
MEAN PEDS GUY doesn’t say anything and just kind of looks pissy. And I really want to hide. But my major professor is not one to be ignored.
MAJOR PROFESSOR: You have to protect her.
MEAN PEDS GUY [barely able to pretend that he’s joking when he says]: Well, we’re not nice to anybody in peds.
You see, I’m not like my major professor. I do not expect nor want special treatment. In fact, if I could ban all special treatment, I would. But now, because he opened his big fat mouth, Mean Peds Guy thinks that I think that I deserve special treatment. Peds is a hard enough rotation without having pissed off an attending, which is exactly what my stupid ass major professor just did to me. I’m thinking that I should change my identity and get some plastic surgery before peds so that he won’t recognize me and totally screw me over.
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do they give you a discount if you undergo a procedure from the clerkship you’re currently in? or maybe you could practice plastics on yourself.
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