So my major professor is finally back in commission. For real now. And during his long recuperation, he managed to pull a thesis out of his ass for me. Only problem is I still have to write it. And despite his very eloquent hashing out BSing of the basic structure and outline, I figure what he’s told me will give me about 10 pages, maybe 14 tops, worth of actual material. How I’m supposed to fluff 10 pages of material up and no data into 200 pages still evades me. Not only that, but he finally acknowledged what I’ve been saying all along: that I’ve spent the last 2+ years killing all sorts of animals to come out with absolutely no useful data for my thesis. Isn’t that just great?
But no, it gets better. You see, I’ve been spoiled during my 3+ years back in his lab: I’ve had my very own rather spacious office the entire time. Where I hide out and eat and sleep and do nothing all day most days. Now, only 3-4 months shy of me being out of there for good, he’s losing my office (academic space wars) and I’m being kicked out to this tiny corner on his lab bench while teacher’s pet gets to keep the only other office space in his lab all to herself. What the hell is up with that? I know that I’ve been demoted to bottom of his favorites list, but man, I didn’t realize how far I’d fallen until he showed me my new poor excuse for space today. I can’t even fit my computer and analysis equipment there let alone all the other shit I’ve accumulated in my office over the years. And what pisses me off is the fact that I only have a few months left. Why not just have me share teacher’s pet’s office? Because I’m not worthy? Because I don’t kiss his ass enough? Or better yet. Kick her out so I can use her office until I’m done. After all, I’m supposed to have seniority in his lab. But no, I’m screwed. Besides, I’m not sure I could share an office with her for 3-4 months without strangling her. I can’t even hold a 5-minute conversation with her without feeling the urge to do her bodily harm if it would shut her up.  So I guess it’s all for the better. Especially because I just realized that I can now insist on working from home since my work conditions will be so deplorable.
Yet I still can’t help but be hurt by the fact that after all my years of devotion and sacrifice to the lab (yeah, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you…I once was so utterly devoted to the lab that I spent 10 hours there a day and refused to go on a Caribbean cruise with my family among other things), I’ve been reduced to nothing more than a lab monkey, quite literally while teacher’s pet has been there barely six months and has taken over everything I had to work 1,000,000 times harder to earn for myself. I guess this all just serves as motivation for me to get my ass the hell out of there so I never have to look back. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting just a little.
I’ve died and gone to diagnostic heaven.
Dr. Cuddy. The face that launched a thousand long faces.
Well, unlike your music, they elicit some emotional response.
Minus five for ingratitude. No “thank you, Dr. House.” No “here’s a bottle of codeine for your troubles, Dr. House.”
You were doing better before you had a good idea.
I’ve heard that not all lawyers are as ethical as the ones we see on TV.
That can’t possibly be as poignant as it sounded.
Is he seizing or dancing?
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Don’t forget to check out this week’s Grand Rounds at Prudence, MD.
Foreman! She’s not wearing any underwear! You used to be more fun.
Ladies and gentleman! I have nothing in my hands. Nothing in my sleeve. I do have something in my pants, but it’s not going to help with this particular trick.
Too much trouble. Can I pick my nose?
Magic is cool. Actual magic is oxymoronic.
If the wonder’s gone when the truth is known, there never was any wonder.
If you’re gonna kiss his ass to protect your ass, at least wait until he has a good idea.
Are you acting stupid because you know you’re safe?
This is a little much for a first date.
I usually like to give the lethal blood to Foreman, but I’m the only one who’s type AB.
I finally have a case of lupus.
Let her greedy fingers into my cookie jar, which sadly is not as dirty as it sounds.
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Don’t forget to check out Grand Rounds today at Mexico Medical Student.
Yes, unfortunately, my days of going to lab when I feel like it (which amounted to three half days a week) are over. I really should have done more with them than I did. My major professor is no longer so incapacitated that he can’t come to the lab and annoy the crap out of me while rubbing in my face that Teacher’s Pet and Mistress are more important to him than the student who has been with him for almost ten years.
I guess the one bright side, at least for my readers, is that I’ll probably be posting more regularly now that I have to look like I’m doing work again instead of watching movies on my iPhone.
Ah…med school…such a time of discovery. We learn so much that it kind of drives us crazy, making us wonder sometimes whether we’re Sick or Sane (Senses Fail).
Send song suggestions here.
See, I became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams.
You using force on me is intriguing.
CUTTHROAT BITCH: Why did you hire her?
HOUSE: Because she has way more diagnostic experience than the other swimsuit models I was considering.
If you want fair, you picked the wrong job, the wrong profession…the wrong species.
He’s not a real doctor. He’s a plastic surgeon.
How many lives have been lost because of pretty girls?
Shiny, pretty, perky things are good and ugly, misshapen teenaged boys are repulsive.
Suddenly I don’t feel like I can trust Michael Moore movies.
I owe it to the world to make sure this evil never sees the light of day.
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