my life, my pace

So I was bored and surfing Facebook this morning (you know you do it too). I noticed that my brother-in-law’s ex-girlfriend/f***buddy/who-knows-what-because-he- has-so-many-of-them posted some new pictures so I decided to check them out only to be met by this abomination:

Yes, that hideous thing is not-so-dear brother-in-law’s super psycho super fugly girlfriend. And I apologize for not warning you first. And I guarantee you that this drawing is pretty damn true to life, what with the squinty eyes and super gummy smile that she insists on not keeping to herself. You see, I was caught off guard here because brother-in-law-with-many-women and not-so-dear brother-in-law don’t really get along, so I didn’t expect to find not-so-dear brother-in-law let alone super psycho super fugly girlfriend in these pictures. Just goes to show you what a double agent brother-in-law-with-many-women is. Anyway, resting my eyes on that image made me want to gouge out my eyes. And I’m sorry if I have now made you want to gouge yours out too. There was just no other way for me to express my disgust. Besides, now you can be sure that I’m not even close to exaggerating when I call her super fugly.

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1. finally, proofI've always thought that not-so-dear brother-in-law must like ugly girls with alarmingly gummy smiles to still be with his super fugly super psycho girlfriend after 2+ years of fugly-psychoness and now I have my confirmation. This small study found that we look at faces and not bodies (not that she has a nice body anyway) when deciding whether a person is attractive or not. So since not-so-dear brother-in-law was attracted to his super fugly super psycho girlfriend despite the fact that she's super fugly, it can only mean that he finds fugly attractive. I think I just vomit in my mouth a little....
2. anatomy of a super-whupped poor excuse for a manI think the diagram below is pretty self-explanatory. Here's to you and your super psycho super fugly girlfriend, not-so-dear brother-in-law. ...
3. the in-law circle of trust There are several things of note in this little diagram of my in-law’s circle of trust: 1.  Father-in-law is on the fringes of the circle of trust.  Why?  Because he’s kind of kooky and does his own thing.  Kind of explains why mother-in-law relies so much on her kids—because her husband doesn’t do much.  But that being the case doesn’t make her bordering-on-incestuous dependency on her kids okay.  It just means that maybe, just maybe, she should have married a more supportive husband. 2.  Not so dear brother-in-law’s super psycho super fugly girlfriend is well inside the circle.  Well, good for her!  Better her than me!  She super kisses crazy mother-in-law’s ass to trick mother-in-law into thinking she’s God’s gift to her son despite her super psychoness and super fugliness.  Mother-in-law is more than happy to fall for it since she gets another servant.  Oh, the lows she will go to just to have someone else serve her sorry ass—letting her son stay with such fugliness—has she thought about what this will do to her family gene pool?!   In any case, if super psycho super fugly girlfriend is dumb enough to stick her nose all the way up mother-in-law’s hemorrhoidific ass, then all I have to say is I hope not so dear brother-in-law doesn’t mind the smell when he kisses her. 3.  My other brother-in-law is well outside the circle.  And has been.  Because he’s smart and knows better than to get caught up in that shit.  Now...

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