Tag Archive for 'teacher’s pet'

how long before teacher’s pet breaks?

On the one hand, I kind of hate Teacher’s Pet.  I can’t walk past her without muttering “bitch” under my breath.  I figure that I can get away with it because I’ve clearly portrayed myself as the absolute opposite of her: anti-social, un-empathetic, socially awkward…so yes, I can’t help being rude.

But on the other hand, a very small part of me (0.5%) feels sorry for her.  Maybe she’s naively believing all of the empty promises my major professor is making.  Maybe she doesn’t know that she’s becoming his bitch to get something that she could have gotten on her own anyway (turns out she really wants to get into the residency program here).  Maybe she thinks she can break her ties with him once she gets what she wants.  Whatever it is that’s motivating her, she is very quickly becoming his utter and complete bitch. He started her off on just one pointless project.  That was the price she had to pay to be able to work on her pet project. One pointless project turned into two.  And now he’s adding on yet another one. Not to mention all of the administrative stuff she has to do now (like answering his phone like he I used to when I didn’t know any better).  I thought she liked having her nose so far up his ass that she can’t see the sun, but a colleague of mine who has watched their interactions and witnessed her reaction to him telling her that she was to take on yet another pointless project tells me that she might be close to having enough.  Wow.  I’m shocked.  I almost feel sorry for her.  Almost.  But not quite.  Because her existence and her being such an ass-kisser has screwed me over even worse just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse.  So I really hope she does break and that I get to witness it.

do i look like a premed to you?!

So in my last meeting with my major professor and Teacher’s Pet…you know, the one where he was a complete ass to me but sugary sweet to her…he also just couldn’t wait to be done with talking to me so that he could go on and on about her special project.  Well, he finally got to it, but he didn’t dismiss me (because, really, I could care less about her project).  Instead, he started describing her super special project on a condition that affects pregnant women and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, he had the nerve to tell me that I could help her if I wanted.  That helping her would be good clinical experience for me.  That I would get to see and interact with patients.


1.  I have absolutely no interest in OB/Gyn.  None whatsoever.  Negative interest if that’s possible.

2.  I’m no undergrad starving to taste the life of a doctor!  I’ve been there.  Done that.  Would be doing that now instead of being patronized by him if he hadn’t screwed me over.

Ugh.  I could not believe my ears.  You’re screwing me over because of this Teacher’s Pet and now you want me to be her lackey too?  Promising me clinical experience as if I’m some lowly premed chomping at the bit?  Gag me already.

dr jekyll and mr hyde

I was feeling ambitious today, so I actually cracked open another student’s thesis that was lying around my soon-to-not-be-my office and tried to give my thesis a go.  I came up with an outline and started looking up papers for my introduction section.  And I even learned a few things along the way.  I was feeling pretty good about it all.Then my major professor showed up to start cleaning out my office.  Which he never got around to.  Instead, he spent all of his time cavorting with Mistress and getting his ego stroked by Teacher’s Pet.  But of course, he claims he came in today to meet with Teacher’s Pet and me.  I really wanted no part of it because I really don’t enjoy witnessing Teacher’s Pet stroke his ego and him soaking it all up like rays of sunshine.  But I had no choice, of course.  Surprisingly enough, he actually wanted to talk about the study I’m involved in, not hers.  But that’s where the positives end.  Because whenever I tried to ask him rather well-thought out and legitimate questions about analyzing our data leading to us possibly unblinding ourselves and unconsciously tainting our results, he would cut me off mid-sentence and talk down to me as if I were an idiot.  Okay, fine.  I should be used to that by now.  But what makes it all so appalling is the fact that not two seconds after he finishes making me feel like an idiot, Teacher’s Pet chimes in with exactly the same question and he actually lets her finish what she’s saying and answers her reasonably (not rightly, just without raising his voice or talking down to her).  This happened not once during the meeting, not twice, but every single time I tried to say anything.  I got so fed up with the overt discrimination that was going on that I was thisclose to blowing my lid and calling him out on his behavior and telling him where to shove his pompous attitude.  The only reason why I kept my cool was because I knew that he would simply deny what he was so blatantly doing and I would just look like an irrational idiot.Suffice it to say I couldn’t get out of that so-called meeting fast enough.  I really was spoiled by his long hiatus.  I forgot what an asshole he is.   But I remember now.  I really need to get myself out of here.

there’s only 200 pages and crappy work conditions between me and finishing my thesis

So my major professor is finally back in commission.  For real now.  And during his long recuperation, he managed to pull a thesis out of his ass for me.  Only problem is I still have to write it.  And despite his very eloquent hashing out BSing of the basic structure and outline, I figure what he’s told me will give me about 10 pages, maybe 14 tops, worth of actual material.  How I’m supposed to fluff 10 pages of material up and no data into 200 pages still evades me.  Not only that, but he finally acknowledged what I’ve been saying all along: that I’ve spent the last 2+ years killing all sorts of animals to come out with absolutely no useful data for my thesis.  Isn’t that just great?

But no, it gets better.  You see, I’ve been spoiled during my 3+ years back in his lab: I’ve had my very own rather spacious office the entire time.  Where I hide out and eat and sleep and do nothing all day most days.  Now, only 3-4 months shy of me being out of there for good, he’s losing my office (academic space wars) and I’m being kicked out to this tiny corner on his lab bench while teacher’s pet gets to keep the only other office space in his lab all to herself.  What the hell is up with that?  I know that I’ve been demoted to bottom of his favorites list, but man, I didn’t realize how far I’d fallen until he showed me my new poor excuse for space today.  I can’t even fit my computer and analysis equipment there let alone all the other shit I’ve accumulated in my office over the years.  And what pisses me off is the fact that I only have a few months left.  Why not just have me share teacher’s pet’s office?  Because I’m not worthy?  Because I don’t kiss his ass enough?  Or better yet.  Kick her out so I can use her office until I’m done.  After all, I’m supposed to have seniority in his lab.  But no, I’m screwed.  Besides, I’m not sure I could share an office with her for 3-4 months without strangling her.  I can’t even hold a 5-minute conversation with her without feeling the urge to do her bodily harm if it would shut her up.   So I guess it’s all for the better.  Especially because I just realized that I can now insist on working from home since my work conditions will be so deplorable.

Yet I still can’t help but be hurt by the fact that after all my years of devotion and sacrifice to the lab (yeah, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you…I once was so utterly devoted to the lab that I spent 10 hours there a day and refused to go on a Caribbean cruise with my family among other things), I’ve been reduced to nothing  more than a lab monkey, quite literally while teacher’s pet has been there barely six months and has taken over everything I had to work 1,000,000 times harder to earn for myself.  I guess this all just serves as motivation for me to get my ass the hell out of there so I never have to look back. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting just a little.