Archive for the 'house-isms' Category



Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody.  I’m pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless.
I’ve been a doctor for years.  Why do I have to keep assuring people that I know what I’m doing?
HOUSE: What the hell are those?
CAMERON: Candy canes.
HOUSE: Candy canes?  Are you mocking me?
WILSON: You know, […]

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Show me a 20-year-old who’s not in love. You get married at 20, you’re going to be shocked with who you’re living with at 30.
HOUSE: Who’s he talking to?
CAMERON: What?
HOUSE: It’s got an ass. Technically, that makes it a “who.”
How many more failed relationships are we both going to have to deal with […]

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…then don’t say anything at all. I live by those words. Or rather, a variation: if I don’t have anything nice to say, then I can’t and won’t lie and say nice things anyway. I won’t say bad things about you as long as you don’t put me in a position to. […]

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Hello! This guy’s a professional doctor. Plays golf and everything, I bet.
KID: You’re a doctor?
HOUSE: Own my own stethoscope.
HOUSE: On the other hand, we don’t really know anything about schizophrenia, so maybe it is connected.
WILSON: Well, schizophrenia explains one mystery – why you’re so fascinated by a woman with a bump in her leg. It’s […]

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Clinical depression—incredibly contagious.  Every time I’m around one of them, I get blue.
HOUSE: If any of the above-mentioned doctors were interested in my opinion, they would have asked for it.
CAMERON: None of them were willing to subject themselves to you.
HOUSE: No pain, no gain.
HOUSE: Husband described her as being unusually irritable this morning.
CAMERON: And?
HOUSE: I […]

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I bet you paid twice as much. I got mine online.
CAMERON: Do you have a deathwish?
HOUSE: I notice you didn’t try to save me.

I’ll have a nurse come in and admit her. I’m too handsome to do paperwork.
Oh, damn it! You caught me. We went with the weak stuff. I was just trying to save […]

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» The 10 dirtiest jobs in science.  Hey, they forgot to include being your major professor’s bitch.  Okay, I guess that isn’t quite as literally dirty as those on the list, but it sure feels like it is. # 0

» Yum!  Now that’s something I can live with: eating curry to stave off cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s disease.  Researchers in Singapore found that people (aged 60-93) who ate curry even only occasionally scored higher on the Mini Mental Status Exam (MMSE) than those who never ate curry.  The curry spice, turmeric, contains curcumin, which has potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.  And the prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease in the elderly in India is fourfold less than that in the United States. # 0

» There’s a great article today about how the MIT Dean of Admissions wants to reduce admissions anxiety in teenagers.  How about parents getting off of their kids’ backs?  That would help.  But I do admire her for trying to create a friendlier system that might just ease the pressure enough to not give parents such reason to push their kids so hard.  Too bad it probably won’t happen any time soon.  And go ahead and try to tell Asian parents to stop pushing their kids to the point of insanity.  I dare you. # 0

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