they have obviously forgotten what it’s like to be a med student

I’ve mentioned in other posts that part of my meager grad student salary comes from a grant that has nothing to do with my project. And that I’m required to attend these marathon monthly meetings about the project’s (lack of) progress. Well, in the last one, there were some, let’s say…issues…with my major professor’s methodology for our part of the study. Instead of actually addressing them like a normal person would, my super narcissistic major professor danced around these issues for so long that the people asking these questions of him were about ready to physically knock some sense into him.

So suffice it to say, because of what happened last time, there were some residual hard feelings going into the meeting that happened today. Of course, my major professor happens to conveniently be out of the country for this meeting, leaving only myself and teacher’s pet to fend for ourselves (which, by the way, did not go over too well the last time this happened). Apparently, these people know that we don’t do a little song and dance around issues they bring up, so they take the opportunity to put us on the spot and screw us over. Even though I was expecting trouble, I had no idea what I was in store for. Obviously, I’m leaving the lab in two months to go back to my clinical rotations. And teacher’s pet will be leaving in six months. So that leaves no one to do the legwork for their study in our lab. The logical next step would be to hire a replacement for me before I leave so that said replacement can be trained during my remaining time here. But of course, they’re resentful of my major professor’s power plays and he’s not there to dance around their questions, so they decide that it would be a brilliant idea to make me forever an indentured servant to their project by requesting that I “moonlight” for them while I’m back in school. Are you kidding me? These guys are MDs here. They’ve been through all of this. Don’t they know that a third year med student has no time to sleep, let alone work on pointless research projects that they’re not in any way interested in?

Obviously not, because when I tried to diplomatically point out that I may not have the time to do the data analysis in a timely manner, the retort I got was that medical student work hours are limited such that I cannot spend more time in the hospital than is allowed…therefore, I should have all the time in the world to do their data analysis. I seriously could not believe what I was hearing. We all know that those work hour regulations are a joke. Even though they cannot require us to be in the hospital for more than 80 hours a week, we can voluntarily stay longer and we usually should in order to not look lazy and to impress people. Not only that, but just because I may not be in the hospital does not mean I’m going to be lying in the grass watching the clouds float across the sky. More likely than not, I’ll be furiously studying or writing up my presentations for the next day. Or maybe, if I’m really lucky, sleeping. How can they possibly expect me to spend what little precious spare time I’m going to have doing their gruntwork for them?

My plan once I’m done with my dissertation is to leave the lab and never look back. That’s not going to change and I am just appalled that these people even think for a second that I’m willing to risk my clerkship grades for this pointless project. I’m just hoping that my major professor won’t hang me out to dry on this issue.

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  1. do i look like a premed to you?!So in my last meeting with my major professor and Teacher's Pet...you know, the one where he was a complete ass to me but sugary sweet to her...he also just couldn't wait to be done with talking to me so that he could go on and on about her special project.  Well, he finally got to it, but he didn't dismiss me (because, really, I could care less about her project).  Instead, he started describing her super special project on a condition that affects pregnant women and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he had the nerve to tell me that I could help her if I wanted.  That helping her would be good clinical experience for me.  That I would get to see and interact with patients.Okay.1.  I have absolutely no interest in OB/Gyn.  None whatsoever.  Negative interest if that's possible.2.  I'm no undergrad starving to taste the life of a doctor!  I've been there.  Done that.  Would be doing that now instead of being patronized by him if he hadn't screwed me over.Ugh.  I could not believe my ears.  You're screwing me over because of this Teacher's Pet and now you want me to be her lackey too?  Promising me clinical experience as if I'm some lowly premed chomping at the bit?  Gag me already....
  2. there’s only 200 pages and crappy work conditions between me and finishing my thesisSo my major professor is finally back in commission.  For real now.  And during his long recuperation, he managed to pull a thesis out of his ass for me.  Only problem is I still have to write it.  And despite his very eloquent hashing out BSing of the basic structure and outline, I figure what he's told me will give me about 10 pages, maybe 14 tops, worth of actual material.  How I'm supposed to fluff 10 pages of material up and no data into 200 pages still evades me.  Not only that, but he finally acknowledged what I've been saying all along: that I've spent the last 2+ years killing all sorts of animals to come out with absolutely no useful data for my thesis.  Isn't that just great? But no, it gets better.  You see, I've been spoiled during my 3+ years back in his lab: I've had my very own rather spacious office the entire time.  Where I hide out and eat and sleep and do nothing all day most days.  Now, only 3-4 months shy of me being out of there for good, he's losing my office (academic space wars) and I'm being kicked out to this tiny corner on his lab bench while teacher's pet gets to keep the only other office space in his lab all to herself.  What the hell is up with that?  I know that I've been demoted to bottom of his favorites list, but man, I didn't realize how far...
  3. inspirational music for the graduate student 2.5So part of my meager grad student salary is being paid for by a grant that belongs to someone else in the department.  And they're having these stupid way-too-long-and-way-too-boring meetings once a month and once every six months (overkill if you ask me).  They talk about all this administrative stuff that doesn't involve me at all, but I have to show up since I am being paid from it after all.  And my major professor is still out of commission, so he obviously hasn't been attending these meetings.  Well, there's one coming up next week and we all received an email reminding us of it.   My ass of a major professor responds stating for the 1600th time the reasons why he can't attend (he's a bit of an attention whore) and twists the knife in my back by saying that Teacher's Pet will attend because she's his new right-hand man, er, woman.  Um yeah, last time I checked, she isn't even on this grant!  And if she's going to keep him updated on this whole grant business, then why the hell do I have to go to this marathon meeting?!  It's not so much that I want to be his bitch because that's clearly what she's become, but I'm angry that she has so blatantly replaced me as his favorite meaning he's focusing all his attention on her, leaving me at the wayside to suffer in thesis purgatory forever. So in honor of his asshole-ness and her kissing-ass-fake-niceness, my song...

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