dr jekyll and mr hyde

I was feeling ambitious today, so I actually cracked open another student’s thesis that was lying around my soon-to-not-be-my office and tried to give my thesis a go.  I came up with an outline and started looking up papers for my introduction section.  And I even learned a few things along the way.  I was feeling pretty good about it all.Then my major professor showed up to start cleaning out my office.  Which he never got around to.  Instead, he spent all of his time cavorting with Mistress and getting his ego stroked by Teacher’s Pet.  But of course, he claims he came in today to meet with Teacher’s Pet and me.  I really wanted no part of it because I really don’t enjoy witnessing Teacher’s Pet stroke his ego and him soaking it all up like rays of sunshine.  But I had no choice, of course.  Surprisingly enough, he actually wanted to talk about the study I’m involved in, not hers.  But that’s where the positives end.  Because whenever I tried to ask him rather well-thought out and legitimate questions about analyzing our data leading to us possibly unblinding ourselves and unconsciously tainting our results, he would cut me off mid-sentence and talk down to me as if I were an idiot.  Okay, fine.  I should be used to that by now.  But what makes it all so appalling is the fact that not two seconds after he finishes making me feel like an idiot, Teacher’s Pet chimes in with exactly the same question and he actually lets her finish what she’s saying and answers her reasonably (not rightly, just without raising his voice or talking down to her).  This happened not once during the meeting, not twice, but every single time I tried to say anything.  I got so fed up with the overt discrimination that was going on that I was thisclose to blowing my lid and calling him out on his behavior and telling him where to shove his pompous attitude.  The only reason why I kept my cool was because I knew that he would simply deny what he was so blatantly doing and I would just look like an irrational idiot.Suffice it to say I couldn’t get out of that so-called meeting fast enough.  I really was spoiled by his long hiatus.  I forgot what an asshole he is.   But I remember now.  I really need to get myself out of here.

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  1. do i look like a premed to you?!So in my last meeting with my major professor and Teacher's Pet...you know, the one where he was a complete ass to me but sugary sweet to her...he also just couldn't wait to be done with talking to me so that he could go on and on about her special project.  Well, he finally got to it, but he didn't dismiss me (because, really, I could care less about her project).  Instead, he started describing her super special project on a condition that affects pregnant women and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he had the nerve to tell me that I could help her if I wanted.  That helping her would be good clinical experience for me.  That I would get to see and interact with patients.Okay.1.  I have absolutely no interest in OB/Gyn.  None whatsoever.  Negative interest if that's possible.2.  I'm no undergrad starving to taste the life of a doctor!  I've been there.  Done that.  Would be doing that now instead of being patronized by him if he hadn't screwed me over.Ugh.  I could not believe my ears.  You're screwing me over because of this Teacher's Pet and now you want me to be her lackey too?  Promising me clinical experience as if I'm some lowly premed chomping at the bit?  Gag me already....
  2. there’s only 200 pages and crappy work conditions between me and finishing my thesisSo my major professor is finally back in commission.  For real now.  And during his long recuperation, he managed to pull a thesis out of his ass for me.  Only problem is I still have to write it.  And despite his very eloquent hashing out BSing of the basic structure and outline, I figure what he's told me will give me about 10 pages, maybe 14 tops, worth of actual material.  How I'm supposed to fluff 10 pages of material up and no data into 200 pages still evades me.  Not only that, but he finally acknowledged what I've been saying all along: that I've spent the last 2+ years killing all sorts of animals to come out with absolutely no useful data for my thesis.  Isn't that just great? But no, it gets better.  You see, I've been spoiled during my 3+ years back in his lab: I've had my very own rather spacious office the entire time.  Where I hide out and eat and sleep and do nothing all day most days.  Now, only 3-4 months shy of me being out of there for good, he's losing my office (academic space wars) and I'm being kicked out to this tiny corner on his lab bench while teacher's pet gets to keep the only other office space in his lab all to herself.  What the hell is up with that?  I know that I've been demoted to bottom of his favorites list, but man, I didn't realize how far...
  3. i’m still alive…barelySo I couldn't do it. I couldn't finish my thesis by two days ago. I was making progress last week. Not fast enough, of course, because who really can write 20 pages of scientific stuff a day? But last Wednesday, I made it to page 25 and I was proud. I was done with Materials & Methods and I was proud (well except for the fact that my thesis was going to be woefully short). So then I set about starting the results section. And realized that the data my major professor wanted me to use didn't exist. So then I got stuck because the major professor was out of the country. Then I got all despondent because it was feeling like I was never going to finish my thesis and be done with grad school. But I couldn't stay despondent for long because I had to make that pesky poster for my little conference thing tomorrow. Which I only managed to barely finish last night just in time to get it printed at Kinko's for a handsome sum. And now I really hate Microsoft because it really shouldn't have taken that long. And I'm also far too lazy to start working on my thesis again. So I'm lounging around enjoying the nice weather and silently freaking out about my thesis inside. But, yes, I'm still alive....

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  1. 1 do i look like a premed to you?! at my life, my pace

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