whatever it takes (season 4, episode 6)

 Ewwww. Cutthroat bitch has an iPhone!!

CIA GUY: Dr. House?
HOUSE: No. Lazy ass called in sick again. We can give him the message.

Well, I assume you’re gonna drop trou at some point during the dance and I don’t why I should share.

If I have to walk somewhere, there better be at least five girls involved and they better be working their way through college.

Fifteen minutes for the lap dance, thirty minutes to scrub the guilt from my soul.  See you in forty-five.

Any chance he’s just overwhelmed with gratitude?

If you had any real evidence of foul play, you’d be torturing Bolivians instead of putting me into a state of anticipatory sexual arousal.

You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis.

PLASTIC SURGEON GUY: Uh, where have you been the last two days?
HOUSE: Overslept.

Yeah, I cured depression with tonic water once.  That’s it.  I think there was some gin in it too.

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