mirror mirror (season 4, espisode 5)

Bleh, this whole reality show thing is getting really old.

CUDDY: I hired him.
HOUSE: Well, I fired him. To infinity.

Uh, uh, just in case I need them, where exactly will Dr. Foreman be keeping my balls?

My God. Not everything is about you and your little job and your little world. This is about restoring order in the universe.

Bling account? Med account didn’t cover tattoo removal?

Get a raise? Because then you’re a whore. Or didn’t you? Because then you’re a stupid whore.

FOREMAN: The mayo is fine. You can stay where you are. I’m a doctor.
HOUSE: Mail order. I’ve seen the diploma. There was two Ns in university.

Keep him in the isolation room so he doesn’t pick up extreme bitch syndrome from one of the nurses.

The goal in life is not to eliminate misery, it’s to keep misery to the minimum.

Someone’s going to be miserable sometime–just accept it–that’s how I stay so happy.

That was just a courtesy flush.  I’m not actually done.

And I know when my Vicodin isn’t Vicodin.  Do you know when your birth control pills aren’t birth control pills?

Do  your own stupid biopsy.

People don’t learn, they don’t change.  But you did.  You’re a freak!

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