Monthly Archive for October, 2007

mirror mirror (season 4, espisode 5)

Bleh, this whole reality show thing is getting really old.

CUDDY: I hired him.
HOUSE: Well, I fired him. To infinity.

Uh, uh, just in case I need them, where exactly will Dr. Foreman be keeping my balls?

My God. Not everything is about you and your little job and your little world. This is about restoring order in the universe.

Bling account? Med account didn’t cover tattoo removal?

Get a raise? Because then you’re a whore. Or didn’t you? Because then you’re a stupid whore.

FOREMAN: The mayo is fine. You can stay where you are. I’m a doctor.
HOUSE: Mail order. I’ve seen the diploma. There was two Ns in university.

Keep him in the isolation room so he doesn’t pick up extreme bitch syndrome from one of the nurses.

The goal in life is not to eliminate misery, it’s to keep misery to the minimum.

Someone’s going to be miserable sometime–just accept it–that’s how I stay so happy.

That was just a courtesy flush.  I’m not actually done.

And I know when my Vicodin isn’t Vicodin.  Do you know when your birth control pills aren’t birth control pills?

Do  your own stupid biopsy.

People don’t learn, they don’t change.  But you did.  You’re a freak!

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grand rounds 4.6

Don’t forget to check out Grand Rounds today at Running a Hospital.

inspirational music for the graduate student 2.5

So part of my meager grad student salary is being paid for by a grant that belongs to someone else in the department.  And they’re having these stupid way-too-long-and-way-too-boring meetings once a month and once every six months (overkill if you ask me).  They talk about all this administrative stuff that doesn’t involve me at all, but I have to show up since I am being paid from it after all.  And my major professor is still out of commission, so he obviously hasn’t been attending these meetings.  Well, there’s one coming up next week and we all received an email reminding us of it.   My ass of a major professor responds stating for the 1600th time the reasons why he can’t attend (he’s a bit of an attention whore) and twists the knife in my back by saying that Teacher’s Pet will attend because she’s his new right-hand man, er, woman.  Um yeah, last time I checked, she isn’t even on this grant!  And if she’s going to keep him updated on this whole grant business, then why the hell do I have to go to this marathon meeting?!  It’s not so much that I want to be his bitch because that’s clearly what she’s become, but I’m angry that she has so blatantly replaced me as his favorite meaning he’s focusing all his attention on her, leaving me at the wayside to suffer in thesis purgatory forever.

So in honor of his asshole-ness and her kissing-ass-fake-niceness, my song for this week is: Get Set Go – You’re Gonna Die Alone.  Ugh, people like them just make me sick.

As usual, feel free to send me song suggestions here.

guardian angels (season 4, episode 4)

You keep this up, you’re going to have to start wearing sexier clothes.

Start with amyloidosis and keep going until you reach zamyloidosis.

By you, of course, I’m only referring to the people who care enough about human life to put in a full day.

Tell him to call back on a land line–terrible reception here.

WILSON: You’re quite impressed with yourself right now, aren’t you?
HOUSE: Who wouldn’t be?

Now I would love to keep all of you, but not enough to do anything about it.

DISCLAIMER: All copyrighted content is the property of its respective owners.

grand rounds 4.5

Don’t forget to check out Grand Rounds today at Pallimed.

the holidays are coming…

…and yeah, I would tend to agree that it’s a tad early for me to even be thinking about them, but I just can’t help it when I go to the store to buy some Halloween candy only to be inundated with Christmas stuff already.  Couldn’t I at least have Halloween in peace without the specter of the holidays looming ahead?  I’ve been kind of complacent, believing that I have my holiday shopping taken care of, but the people who are the hardest to find gifts for still remain giftless.  Not only that, but sister-in-law is already trying to figure out our Thanksgiving schedule.  What a hypocrite she is, by the way, because we never heard the end of it when we wanted to skip out on Thanksgiving last year and this year, but she nonchalantly tells us that she won’t be around for Thanksgiving day because she’s spending it kissing her MiniMan’s family’s ass.  And they’re just dating  (I’m pretty sure that if my husband had skipped out on Thanksgiving with his precious family when we were just dating, he would have been disowned).  And he’s mini.  As much as I want her to suffer single forever, I think that I will be just as amused if she marries him because he’s mini.  So mini that she kind of slumps over in pictures with him so that he doesn’t look so mini.  Yeah.

inspirational music for the medical student 2.5

Med school is synonymous with information overload.  There’s just way more to learn than we can possibly ever learn.  No matter how much we memorize, there’s always something that we just can’t remember.  And that didn’t sit well with me when I started out because I had never before had trouble memorizing every single detail about something.  So, eventually, I learned to accept that there are just some things that I couldn’t memorize and to be happy with what I did memorize.  So, okay, I don’t know all 16 possible side effects of furosemide, but I know the important ones.  I’m fine with that now.  Because when you’re trying to memorize the mechanisms of actions of these drugs, their side effects, along with more than you ever wanted to know about your kidneys on top of also trying to become an expert on the gastrointestinal tract and the inner workings of the mind, you learn to take what you can get.  And if that means you know 14 of 16 possible side effects of furosemide, then so be it.  Which brings me to my song for this week: Dashboard Confessional – Tonight I’ll Take What I Can Get.  Because that’s just what we have to do sometimes.

As usual, feel free to send me song suggestions here.

top 10 reasons why you don’t want me as your professor in the future

So despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, my husband is stubbornly continuing in his quest to get into med school and is again taking some classes this semester. And, apparently, I’ve become his personal TA. Mind you now, I have zero experience TAing because I managed to weasel my way out of my grad school’s TA requirement thanks to being in a time-limited dual-degree program (read: I don’t have time to waste trying to teach silly undergrads). I also haven’t touched any of the material he’s now learning for well over five years, which doesn’t make his reliance on me as his personal human encyclopedia instead of going to the trouble of actually reading his textbooks rather annoying. Ironic that my goal is to go into academics because I’m pretty sure I would make a horrible professor. So here are the top 10 reasons why you don’t want me for your professor if I ever get that far:

10. I really can’t stand you and I’m not afraid to show it.

Corollary: If you’re a pre-med, I’ll make things twice as hard for you because I really can’t stand pre-meds.

9. I have absolutely zero tolerance for any whining/complaining/demands for extra credit. Such actions will result in you wishing you were never born.

8. I’m aiming for all 1s across at ratemyprofessor.com. Except for the hotness factor, of course. Because I’m hot.

7. No two exams of mine will ever be alike. Or even close to being alike. So go ahead and hoard my old exams, you dirty cheater.  They won’t help you at all.

6. Lectures will take place at a pace three times faster than what you can follow.

5. And, no, I will not post my Powerpoint presentations before lecture. You’ll be lucky if I post them after lecture.

4. And, no, I will not repeat what I just said. Because you should have been listening to me instead of listening to your iPod/making eyes at your neighbor/text messaging/IMing your psycho significant other. There is nothing I hate more than repeating myself.

3. Asking whether or not what I just put my heart and soul into teaching you will be on the test will result in a swift death.

2. Any question you ask me is a stupid question, which means you’re stupid, and I’ll make sure you know it.

Corollary: I will respond to any question you ask me with another question until you realize that it would just be faster if you looked up the answer yourself in your textbook instead of wasting my time because you can’t be bothered with opening your textbook.

1. My goal as a professor is to break your spirit. Oh, and to ruin that 4.0 GPA. And to crush your hopes of ever getting into med school.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not trying to alienate my pre-med readers. If you’re a pre-med and spend any time at all around other pre-meds, you’ll understand why I have such great disdain for pre-meds.