you quit medicine so get off your damn high horse

Not too long ago, I wrote about an MD who quit her internal medicine residency to pursue a new specialty instead because she couldn’t stand the helplessness that comes from diagnosing people with untreatable conditions.  Well, apparently, she decided that this new specialty wouldn’t quite solve that problem either (duh!) and is not going to finish residency.  Instead, it seems that she plans on pursuing a purely research career, which explains why she’s my major professor’s new teacher’s pet.  That’s fine with me except for the whole stealing my major professor part.

But everyday, I have to listen to her get on her high horse about what’s wrong with medicine today.  Friday, it was a whole tirade against how doctors are too quick to order imaging instead of taking a good history and performing a good physical.  And surprisingly enough, my major professor didn’t interrupt her before she could get two words out, which is how I know she’s his new teacher’s pet.  Then today, I was subjected to her rant on how primary care providers aren’t compensated well enough for what they do because they’re not procedure-based.  What is this?  Second year of med school?!  I’ve had more than enough of these people who complain about what’s wrong with the system yet do nothing to fix it.  And really, if she cared so much, why not go into health care reform instead of research?  Why not finish residency and be one of those doctors who take good histories and perform awesome physicals instead of ordering a bunch of tests?  Ugh.  Bad enough she stole my major professor.  Now she’s going to annoy me to death with her soapbox speeches.  She better shut up or get the hell out of the lab before I throw a microscope at her.

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  1. as the match nears, shadiness aboundsSo, as you all know, Teacher's Pet has been the bane of my existence in the lab for awhile now. I mistakenly thought that she had quit medicine because she cared too much about her patients or some other BS like that, but it turns out that she just quit her internal medicine residency and instead wants to get into another specialty. That's why she hooked up with my major professor--because he's in the department of her specialty of choice and she wanted an in. Well, she applied this year and Match Day is tomorrow. She already knows that she matched and is waiting to find out where. And in the two days that I've been at the lab, all I keep hearing is, "If you match here..." or "Who might end up in Timbuktu..." or "Well, we don't know yet if you'll be here..." which is normal I suppose, but for some reason, has been sounding ultra sketchy coming out of my major professor's mouth, the chair of the department's mouth, and the chair's minion's mouth. They just all sound like they're saying, "Duuuuuh. Of course you matched here. We made sure of it." They might as well be wink-wink-nudge-nudge-ing when they say these things because it's just that obvious. And that just makes me angry. I understand that these shady things happen and I probably can't do anything about it but play the game. But does it really have to be so blatant? Bad enough that they're...
  2. know what you’re getting yourself intoI cannot stress this point enough when it comes to med school. Contrary to popular belief, it's not for everyone. Some people just aren't cut out for it even if they think they are and their numbers are stellar. It's not all rainbows and butterflies and neither is being a doctor. In fact, a first year at my school committed suicide earlier this year. And two first years at another med school also took their own lives. Sadly, I found myself thinking that the admissions process should have weeded these people out so that those spots wouldn't have been wasted. Yes, it's cold, but I can't help thinking that way because these people should have known what they were getting into and whether they could handle it or not. If you're not tough enough, then step aside and let the people who are tough enough have a shot at it. Because it doesn't get any easier. Besides, you offed yourself in first year?! That's not even when it's the toughest. As my friend said when she heard the news, "What, why kill yourself during first year? Things are still good then. If anything, I would kill myself during third year." Sad, but true. If you can't even handle first year, then you shouldn't even be in med school. There's also an MD volunteering in my lab because she's interested in the specialty that this department is based in and my major professor is somehow connected. She was originally an internal...
  3. that’s it. i’m so quitting science!As soon as I finish this damn useless PhD, of course. Though at this point, I'm not quite sure that I'll make it to the end without going on a murderous rampage. Let's review how I got here. 1. I spent a whole two years in my major professor's lab answering his fucking phone and making his Powerpoints. Then he has the nerve to make it my fault that I'm now taking an extra year to finish when it's really his fault since he's an ass. 2. I keep getting interrogated in the most demeaning and humiliating way possible whenever I present my work. And you know why? Because the whole fucking world thinks my dumbass major professor is a kook, which then makes me a kook since I'm being "trained" by him. No matter how much I try to distance myself and my work from him, it's too late because I'm associated with him and that instantly makes me a fraud too. And since they can't attack him, they attack me. And I'm sick of it. 3. Did I already mention that he's an asshole? Yeah, so he abandons me for Teacher's Pet and treats her like a human being, but treats me as badly as those people who like to interrogate and humiliate me treat me. He, who knows nothing about my work, dares to flat out tell me that I'm fucking wrong in what I plan to do next after proving quite conclusively the uniform lethality of...

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2 Responses to “you quit medicine so get off your damn high horse”

  1. 1 nosugrefneb

    Geez. You should just throw the microscope now and get it over with. How big is this lab of yours? There are an awful lot of people hoarding your PI’s attention away from you, it seems.

  2. 2 mylifemypace

    I’m sorely tempted to… The sad thing is that my lab only consisted of me up until this new teacher’s pet showed up. I should have had all of his attention in the first place, but he was too busy getting people who don’t deserve it into my med school (and sadly enough, he succeeded) and babying spoiled family friends who come through the lab to get something to add to their CV for their eventual med school applications. Even when it was only me, he treated me like crap anyway. It’s just gotten even worse now that there are other, more “obedient” people around. Now I don’t even exist except for when he wants something from me.

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