as the lab world turns (pre-quals edition)

It’s Monday and Super Bored Grad Student has only 2 days left until her qualifying exam.  She wonders why she’s still at lab when she should be at home where she has no distractions.  She is working fast to prepare her presentation for a practice run for Dr. Grumpy Old Major Professor even though she knows it’s pointless since he never gives any useful feedback anyway.  Quite the opposite.  He turns it into a game of, “Haha.  You didn’t say what I would have said.  Haha.  You suck.”

The time comes and she and Dr. Grumpy Old Major Professor settle into the conference room for her talk.  Before she can even finish spitting out her introduction, he interrupts her to tell her that she should emphasize that he’s the vice chair of the department.  She thinks to herself, “No way.  Who gives a shit?”  And then tells him to contain himself until the end of the talk.

Which he was incapable of doing.

She finally finishes the talk and he has several comments for her:

1. Bring lots of dry erase pens because she supposedly leaves them uncapped between each use.  Uh, but she didn’t.

2. Start every response to any question by the committee with: “Dr. Grumpy Old Major Professor developed/did [insert lame thing that doesn’t have anything to do with anything here]…”

Super Bored Grad Student could not believe that this was the advice that this man had to give her.  It was beyond useless.  It was dumb.  Seriously, was he trying to make sure that she failed?

She made sure to keep her office door nice and shut during the remainder of the day to prevent anymore useless advice from the equally useless Dr. Grumpy Old Major Professor.

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The patient is a 20-something-year-old MD/PhD student with a history of extensive schooling now presenting with frustration at her current lack of progress consistent with being stuck in a rut.
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