Another experiment. Another failure straight out of leftfield. Malignant hyperthermia?! We didn't even use halothane! I think that I'm seriously doomed to be in grad school forever. And I'm really, really tired. Tired of studying. Tired of getting nowhere. Tired of being tired of everything. So the song I've chosen for this week is: Green Day – Tired of Waiting. Because I'm just plain tired of waiting for my experiments to work. Not that I've been sitting around and waiting really. I've been trying so hard to make them work. But they just won't. And I'm tired.
Want to save me some time? Then send me song suggestions through the contact form.
FOREMAN: You stash your drugs in a lupus textbook?
HOUSE: Itâ€™s never lupus.
DAD: Who the hell are you?
HOUSE: I am a complete stranger who apparently cares more about whether your kid dies than you do.
MOM: Youâ€™re Dr. House.
HOUSE: Did you see my stage show?
MOM: Sheâ€™s six, Rob. She shouldnâ€™t have unnecessary surgery.
HOUSE: Or a moron for a mom. What can you do?
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After a whole month of scheduling difficulties, we're finally doing another experiment tomorrow. So wish me luck because I really need it because if I don't get this model worked out soon, I'm so not going to finish my PhD by July (which is when I'm supposed to return to med school) and I just might go insane if I have to prolong this whole PhD thing by another year.
I didn't forget. I swear! Grand Rounds is up at Notes from Dr. RW. Enjoy!
I was too busy playing Elite Beat Agents on my DS Lite. I know. I'm bad. But I just couldn't help it. It was too addictive. So addictive that I already beat the game. At least that means I won't be playing it instead of studying anymore. But then again, there's the Japanese version, which I have but haven't beaten yet. I'm so screwed. This game reminds me of just why I love my DS Lite so much. It's a game that not-so-good-at-video-games me can play without too much struggling. Basically, you're "elite beat agents" and you go around pumping out beats to different songs to save people from various situations such as a babysitting nightmare and a speed freak cab driver. How well you do in following the beats (which you tap out with your stylus) determines how the story goes. Screw up too badly and you lose and don't save the day. Do well and you save the day. It's great. And it also has a versus mode so I can pwn my husband at it whenever I feel like it. I'm sure hoping they come out with more games like this one because it's now one of my favorite DS Lite games!
I've written more than once (here and here) about how Grey's Anatomy has things all wrong when it comes to portraying young surgeons. And my biggest problem in those posts was their whole Izzie falling in love with a patient storyline. Well, that's not the only thing wrong with Grey's Anatomy. I've completely neglected the other major plot that's playing out this season: the Christina and Burke story.
To summarize, at the end of last season, Burke gets shot while going back to Seattle Grace to check on Denny (thanks to Izzie) and has surgery to remove the bullet and repair the damage. Of course, he was shot in a bad place, making it possible that he would never regain function of his right arm/hand. The beginning of this season shows him struggling to regain function as he suffers from persistent and unpredictable hand tremors. Both he and Christina cannot accept that he may no longer be able to be the God of cardiothoracic surgery and through her pressuring him and his own lack of balls to stand up to her, they form a team in which she is always by his side as he operates so that she can take over the instant there is a hint of a tremor.
This plot was annoying because as much as I like Christina because she is most like me, they take her whole not-being-quite-human flaws a little too far by having her refusal to accept that Burke was not better lead her to push him into operating when he clearly was not ready. I may be a little emotionally- and empathy-lacking, but even I would not be able to do that because of the risk to patients. But okay, maybe she's just that flawed. I'm okay with that. What I take issue with is how long they were able to get away with it even though there are more than two people in an operating room at all times. Why didn't the OR nurses notice? What about the other more senior residents who were suddenly all assed out of Burke's surgeries? And what about Bailey after she also got assed out of one of his surgeries? And then there was the matter of George freaking out because it was going to be his dad on the table. None of these people did anything about what was clearly a very serious breach of ethics that was putting patients at risk. In real life, they never would have been able to get away with what they were doing for as long as they did. But they did in Grey's Anatomy because no one could tell so that they could have this really "emotional" episode this last week about betrayal as Christina betrayed Burke and ratted him out to the chief. Which by the way was an act of revenge for his putting an end to their little team and not because she couldn't take it anymore. If she couldn't take it anymore, she could have just waited because it was obvious that Burke was going to go to the chief anyway. Her running all bloody out of the OR to the chief was revenge. Pure and simple. Which is just messed up because she was the one who pushed him into the situation in the first place because of her lack of emotional strength and empathy. In any case, I'm glad that this little team of theirs is now officially done for because it just made me squirm each time I saw them go into surgery together because it just didn't make sense to me that they could hide their little secret for so long and because I was always waiting for something to go horribly wrong (she is just an intern after all).
Oh, and how Izzie continues to annoy me with her stupid self-righteous why-can't-I-do-shit attitude. If it were me, I would have kicked her back out of the program two weeks ago for her ungratefulness. But she's still here and she's still acting as if it's so unfair that she's not allowed to do anything. No shit you can't do anything. The last time you did something, someone died. In real life, you'd probably be flipping burgers now since there's no way you would ever be allowed to even come near a patient ever again. So shut up and grovel. Seriously.
Man, this whole Wii thing has really gotten me into a funk. I don't think I've studied anything worth anything since Monday. And as much as knowing that freaks me out, I am utterly helpless. Apparently, it's very hard for me to get into my studying groove once I've been spoiled by not studying. The sad thing is that I wasn't even particularly enjoying myself during my little not-so-well-deserved study hiatus. It all started with the Wii problem, which sent me into crazy-check-forums-for-any-news-every-other-minute mode, which wasn't at all conducive to studying. Now that I think back about how many days I wasted not studying because of my disappointment over not getting my Wii as promised, I can only hang my head in shame because I can't understand why it was such a big deal to me. Maybe it was a "reward" for all the studying I had accomplished and knowing that I wasn't going to get it when I planned made me lose my motivation? Then, when I finally began recovering from my Wii funk after Amazon finally shipped it, I was dealt another incapacitating blow in the form of the whole let-the-holidays-begin-crazy-in-laws funk. Just the thought that I had to spend yet another Thanksgiving with them was enough to make it impossible for me to study. The thought that we would never be respected as our own family and that I would have to forever share my holidays with these crazy people. What can I say? I'm a glass half empty kind of girl. Then of course, there was Thanksgiving itself. Between all the running around that we did, there was no time to breathe let alone study. And Friday, I just had to play with my Wii (and that I did for only 2 hours or so…the rest of the day was spent chasing down various in-laws).
So today was supposed to be my fresh start. But I just couldn't start. I couldn't even begin to fathom how I had managed to study for a full month straight already because I simply couldn't even bring myself to open the book or pick up my pen. So I found other things to do instead. Like putting up Christmas decorations. And taking a peek under my car's hood to try to figure out why the "check engine" light is on. And cleaning the study. And baking cookies. Anything except for study. But at the same time, I'm freaking out inside because I know damn well that I'm wasting precious time. Yet I can't do anything about it. I'm stuck in this funk and I can't get out. I keep hoping that tomorrow will be a better studying day, but it hasn't been so far and I'm really starting to freak out now. And still, I can't get myself to study. Is this normal? Am I burnt out already? Will I be okay tomorrow? Please tell me it'll get better and I'll study again. Because if I don't, I'm not going to finish in time. Which means I'll fail my quals. Which will be very, very bad.
I guess I should be happy. I got my Wii after all. But somehow I'm not. And it's all thanks to the people at Amazon, who told me that my Wii was delayed indefinitely thereby causing me to waste two days moping about not being able to get one and trying to chase one down only to them then ship it! Seriously, WTF?! They kept insisting that they had absolutely no idea when my order would be filled, but then they shipped it two days later? How could you not know, liars? And thanks to their mishaps, I had to cut short my trip out-of-town for the holiday to come back and retrieve my Wii from my doorstep before thieves could, which could have been avoided had they shipped it when they promised before Thanksgiving. Just because they sent me my Wii before I expected (which was sometime in June 2007 based on their "we have no idea" answer) doesn't mean that I'm any less mad at them nor does it mean that I'm going to go right back to buying stuff from them. Nope. I'm going to be trying my best not to ever buy stuff from them ever again, thank you.
And now, time to move on to a much more important topic: how so very cool my new Wii is. If you've read any of my posts about how much I love my DS Lite, you'll understand why I love the Wii: it's like a DS Lite but on a TV. The Wii remote is like the DS stylus, only better because you don't have to write on your screen…all you do is wave it around. And the games are not so complicated that unskilled-at-video-games people like me can't possibly play them, just like the DS Lite. We only have Wii Sports right now (waiting for Christmas for other games to come in the form of gifts ), but it's quite entertaining. I especially like the tennis since it's something I've been playing in real life and I can play regardless of the weather outside (unlike tennis in real life). The bowling game provides all the fun of bowling without the smelly shoes. I can't wait to get Trauma Center! Though I have to wonder how silly we look to outsiders waving our little Wii remotes around like we do.