Ever feel like a complete fake? That’s how I felt (will continue to feel) every time I had to do something clinical during my first two years of med school. I even feel like a fake now—despite all of my achievements and proof otherwise, I still feel as though somehow I’ve just been faking it all this time and that I’m going to be found out eventually. Every time I have to get up in front of somebody, be it a patient, a preceptor, an attending, my warm-and-fuzzy doctoring class group, my fellow MD/PhD classmates, a bunch of PhDs at a research conference, it’s just one more chance for me to screw up and destroy everyone’s perceptions of me. So, this week’s song is: The Used – I’m a Fake…because, especially in our training to become doctors, we’re all just faking it until we make it.

And thanks to Caribbean med student, rumorsweretrue for his song suggestion: Fiona Apple – Paper Bag, which fits with my theme today based on my loose interpretation of it being about feeling like you’ve reached your goal only to realize that you were chasing after the wrong thing and your goal is still a ways ahead of you: during our first years of med school, we try to survive our classes and get a high score on the USMLE Step 1, but when we get there, we realize that those were not our true goals and that we are still chasing after the goal of becoming physicians. Even after we become physicians, we must continue to keep learning and perfecting our skills (both diagnostic and people), so that we’re perpetually chasing after our own “paper bags.” Not that it’s a bad thing—we need to keep chasing new goals after achieving old ones or else we will become complacent and stagnant—and that would be bad.

As always, feel free to send song suggestions to me through the contact form.

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