Who da man?  I da man.  I’ve always suspected it.

Read less.  More TV.

Okay, we’ll send your kid’s culture to the lab.  Someone will call you.  BOO!!!

CUDDY: I need you to wear your lab coat.
HOUSE: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than me, like half your age.
CUDDY: Wear the coat.
HOUSE: Man, man, someone got spanked real good this morning.

Oh!  It’s story time.  Let me get my baba.

WILSON: And put on your coat.
HOUSE: It itches.

I’m thinking about switching to orthopedics.  How much do you guys get for a massage now—without the happy ending?

Do you get that often?  Women would rather die than get naked with you?

Either she had two left feet or you angioed the wrong leg.

This would be a very good time to offer me a bribe.

She’s a little blue, but turns out she needs a heart transplant.

Beautiful organ donor weather.

I have healed you.  You can talk.

I am sorry about the lab coat thing—the drycleaners just destroyed it.

It’s nothing personal.  I don’t like anybody.

That wasn’t nearly as dramatic as I was hoping.

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