So we’ve been dealing with not-so-dear brother-in-law and passive-aggressive cousin-in-law for the last five weeks now. And it hasn’t been fun at all. While I have the I’m-older-than-you-so-you-better-listen-to-me-I’m-not-your-friend mentality, my husband has the we’re-all-friends-here mentality, which has led to difficulties in dealing with their problem behavior. The most annoying problem has been passive-aggressive cousin-in-law’s continual taking forever to get ready in the morning every morning, resulting in habitual lateness to lab/work every morning. And then there’s not-so-dear brother-in-law’s inability to get the hell off the phone with his super psycho super fugly girlfriend when we tell him to. Because of my husband’s let’s-all-be-friends nature, we’ve dealt with these problems by nicely telling them to not make us wait on their asses. And of course, it didn’t work. I was content to just ignore them for their remaining time here (down to 12 days now) since I ran out of niceness anyway (apparently this phenomenon is not unique to me but rather to introverts who are drained by social interactions), but no, they just had to piss me off some more.

Here’s what happened. My husband wanted to play tennis with them (and they agreed) the other night and told them to get ready right after dinner. They did not. Then he told them again an hour later. And at my insistence, again ten minutes after that. At that point, when they still had not yet gotten their lazy asses off of the couch/phone, I couldn’t take such disrespect anymore and hobbled as fast as my sprained ankle could carry me out to them and yelled, “Now that’s enough. We are older than you. You have no right to make us wait for you all of the time. Who do you think you are? We are not here to serve you. If you don’t want to go, then just say so. No more of this!” Well, I’ve never seen them jump out of the door so fast before.

I was so proud of myself for finally breaking free of my husband’s let’s-all-be-friends hold over me, but at the same time, I knew that they would never treat me the same way again. I only regretted that for half a second as I prefer scared-of-me-obedience over being their friend any day. But the real victory happened the following day, when passive-aggressive cousin-in-law woke up early and finished getting ready a whole half an hour early. I hadn’t even specifically mentioned his habitual tardiness when I yelled at them, but he took the hint! And who said yelling doesn’t work?

So that’s what I’ve learned here. You just can’t be nice all of the time if you want kids to have an ounce of respect for you. Sometimes you just have to yell a little, even if it’s not what you want to do. Believe me, despite all of my sarcasm and disdain for them, I really didn’t want to yell at them if it could be helped. But it couldn’t be helped here and I admit that I still have to learn how to take on that role of being the authority figure more effectively. I’m so used to submitting to other authority figures that I can’t see myself as one. My husband, however, has an even longer way to go because he still doesn’t see the need to even be an authority figure to these kids. Well, that’s not going to stop me from enjoying my little victory over them.

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2 Responses to “ah the joys of yelling at kids”  

  1. 1 314

    hi, i just found your blog via inside surgery. i’d just like to say that i really enjoy it, as much as seeing one’s future torture is enjoyable…(i’m planning on becoming a doctor) and i hope you continue blogging.

    and i agree, those model anatomy figures are awesome!

  2. 2 mylifemypace

    Yes…it is torture…to put it lightly… I hope that my blog provides some insight into this torture you’re going to be subjecting yourself to so that you don’t walk in blissfully unaware (as I did). Thanks for reading! :)

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