Comments on: sand people? http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/ an MD/PhD student's take on school, lab, LIFE Thu, 23 Nov 2006 00:06:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: i’m going for village idiot here at My Life, My Pace http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-156 Sat, 30 Sep 2006 00:27:12 +0000 http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-156 [...] I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out. Or scream at the top of my lungs that I’m not an idiot, goshdarnit! But what would any of that do? The sad fact is that the environment that I’ve been in for the last two+ years has made me dull. Quite dull. I’ve turned *shudder* mediocre. I’ve turned into a sand person. And I can’t stand that I let that happen. But it’s so hard for me to break myself free from what I’ve become even though I despise it with every fiber of my being. I can see why sand people like to keep their heads in the sand. It’s just too much work otherwise. Well, sand person I will be no more! As of today, uh wait, Monday since it’s the weekend, I will pull myself out of this rut that I’m stuck in. I will not be lazy. I will start studying for my quals. I will schedule those experiments I’ve been putting off. I will analyze the data that I’ve left to pile up for months now. I will not be an idiot anymore. I will be me. [...] […] I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out. Or scream at the top of my lungs that I’m not an idiot, goshdarnit! But what would any of that do? The sad fact is that the environment that I’ve been in for the last two+ years has made me dull. Quite dull. I’ve turned *shudder* mediocre. I’ve turned into a sand person. And I can’t stand that I let that happen. But it’s so hard for me to break myself free from what I’ve become even though I despise it with every fiber of my being. I can see why sand people like to keep their heads in the sand. It’s just too much work otherwise. Well, sand person I will be no more! As of today, uh wait, Monday since it’s the weekend, I will pull myself out of this rut that I’m stuck in. I will not be lazy. I will start studying for my quals. I will schedule those experiments I’ve been putting off. I will analyze the data that I’ve left to pile up for months now. I will not be an idiot anymore. I will be me. […]

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by: back to the real world at My Life, My Pace http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-117 Tue, 08 Aug 2006 23:16:17 +0000 http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-117 [...] Until I saw some people exit and the unmistakable gait of the husband’s super psycho super manipulative super fugly ex-girlfriend (though I do have to say that not-so-dear brother-in-law’s super psycho super fugly girlfriend wins out in both of these departments) and her (poor) new victim (who happened to be my husband’s friend too—it’ll take too long to explain, so I’ll leave it at that). They didn’t see us though, which was good and I was beginning to think that I was mistaken since I was still seeing stars from all of that hard work writing those posts. But the ex’s new victim noticed us and turned around and started talking to us. I didn’t so much mind since I assumed they had finished eating and were leaving. Plus the ex had walked on ahead and was leaving the new victim to chat with us. But then she realized who we were and came back and gave the husband a huge-with-way-too-much-contact hug. And they weren’t done eating. It turns out that the entire group of backstabbing sand people former friends were still in the restaurant and they had just ordered. The ex and her new victim were merely running off to grab some boba to go with their meal. The inevitable “why don’t you join us?” ensued with the husband agreeing. So we ate with them. And despite my efforts to avoid ending up seated next to her, I failed. And then she gave the husband another huge-with-way-too-much-contact-if-this-goes-on-for-one-more-second-I’m-going-to- kick-your-fugly-ass hug before we left. [...] […] Until I saw some people exit and the unmistakable gait of the husband’s super psycho super manipulative super fugly ex-girlfriend (though I do have to say that not-so-dear brother-in-law’s super psycho super fugly girlfriend wins out in both of these departments) and her (poor) new victim (who happened to be my husband’s friend too—it’ll take too long to explain, so I’ll leave it at that). They didn’t see us though, which was good and I was beginning to think that I was mistaken since I was still seeing stars from all of that hard work writing those posts. But the ex’s new victim noticed us and turned around and started talking to us. I didn’t so much mind since I assumed they had finished eating and were leaving. Plus the ex had walked on ahead and was leaving the new victim to chat with us. But then she realized who we were and came back and gave the husband a huge-with-way-too-much-contact hug. And they weren’t done eating. It turns out that the entire group of backstabbing sand people former friends were still in the restaurant and they had just ordered. The ex and her new victim were merely running off to grab some boba to go with their meal. The inevitable “why don’t you join us?” ensued with the husband agreeing. So we ate with them. And despite my efforts to avoid ending up seated next to her, I failed. And then she gave the husband another huge-with-way-too-much-contact-if-this-goes-on-for-one-more-second-I’m-going-to- kick-your-fugly-ass hug before we left. […]

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by: how to ruin a brilliant scientific career at My Life, My Pace http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-25 Wed, 31 May 2006 05:02:38 +0000 http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-25 [...] So what about women? Yep, we’re not immune to this decline either. And we actually have it even worse since there is never a good time to take time off to have and raise children without significantly setting back our careers. I myself have noticed that I’ve become more mediocre/sand-people-like in my academics ever since getting married—not so much numbers-wise since I still have that 4.0, but in that I don’t devote as much time to my professional development (attending seminars, studying, lab) as I did when I was single/in a not-so-good-would-rather-avoid-it-by-staying-at-lab relationship. All of a sudden, I’ve decided that pursuing my career and being the best aren’t nearly as important as being married and spending time with my husband. But I still have that drive inside of me that surfaces from time to time (more often now that I’ve been so rudely knocked out of that whole blissful newlywed thing by my in-laws) that reminds me that I will never be able to live with myself if I just half-ass my way through my career. It’s my ego telling me that I can’t possibly be okay with not being the best at what I do. Two years ago, I was willing to stay forever single and childless to achieve my career goals. Now I’m married and willing to give the whole having kids thing a chance (if only so that I pass on my highly-evolved-super-smart-yet-still-good-looking genes). I just don’t know when. And I still don’t really know if I ever will even have kids because of the blow it would deal to my career—not only due to the fact that I’ll have to take time off but also because my priorities just might change and I won’t be so intent on being the best anymore. Which I suppose isn’t so bad, but try telling that to someone who’s spent her whole entire life being the best. I don’t know if I can make that sacrifice for little rugrats who just might ultimately hate me anyway. So all I can do is find some sort of balance for now and eventually decide (sometime before my biological clock stops ticking) whether or not I want to torture myself some more by procreating. [...] […] So what about women? Yep, we’re not immune to this decline either. And we actually have it even worse since there is never a good time to take time off to have and raise children without significantly setting back our careers. I myself have noticed that I’ve become more mediocre/sand-people-like in my academics ever since getting married—not so much numbers-wise since I still have that 4.0, but in that I don’t devote as much time to my professional development (attending seminars, studying, lab) as I did when I was single/in a not-so-good-would-rather-avoid-it-by-staying-at-lab relationship. All of a sudden, I’ve decided that pursuing my career and being the best aren’t nearly as important as being married and spending time with my husband. But I still have that drive inside of me that surfaces from time to time (more often now that I’ve been so rudely knocked out of that whole blissful newlywed thing by my in-laws) that reminds me that I will never be able to live with myself if I just half-ass my way through my career. It’s my ego telling me that I can’t possibly be okay with not being the best at what I do. Two years ago, I was willing to stay forever single and childless to achieve my career goals. Now I’m married and willing to give the whole having kids thing a chance (if only so that I pass on my highly-evolved-super-smart-yet-still-good-looking genes). I just don’t know when. And I still don’t really know if I ever will even have kids because of the blow it would deal to my career—not only due to the fact that I’ll have to take time off but also because my priorities just might change and I won’t be so intent on being the best anymore. Which I suppose isn’t so bad, but try telling that to someone who’s spent her whole entire life being the best. I don’t know if I can make that sacrifice for little rugrats who just might ultimately hate me anyway. So all I can do is find some sort of balance for now and eventually decide (sometime before my biological clock stops ticking) whether or not I want to torture myself some more by procreating. […]

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by: why, oh why md/phd? at My Life, My Pace http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-21 Tue, 23 May 2006 03:48:34 +0000 http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-21 [...] I first thought about what I wanted to be way back in second grade when we had to include a page on just that in our little “All About Me” books. I said that I wanted to work in a laboratory complete with a drawing of me in a lab coat and glasses with various beakers in front of me. In high school, I decided I wanted to be an astronomer. Maybe it was because I was already looking to find a planet I could inhabit far, far away from all the annoying sand people a la Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince—a great little book to live by—read it whenever you need to ground yourself a little). Of course, this plan didn’t settle all too well with my parents and I knew that it was also just a tad unrealistic, so I opted for the more run-of-the-mill something-in-the-sciences-I’m-not-yet-sure-what plan when I went off to college. Becoming a doctor was always in the back of my mind though. But I wasn’t sure that I had it in me. And I didn’t want to do it because my parents wanted it of me. And I was quite interested in something engineering. But in the end, after doing the appropriate pre-med things, I decided that becoming a physician was definitely what I wanted to do. [...] […] I first thought about what I wanted to be way back in second grade when we had to include a page on just that in our little “All About Me” books. I said that I wanted to work in a laboratory complete with a drawing of me in a lab coat and glasses with various beakers in front of me. In high school, I decided I wanted to be an astronomer. Maybe it was because I was already looking to find a planet I could inhabit far, far away from all the annoying sand people a la Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince—a great little book to live by—read it whenever you need to ground yourself a little). Of course, this plan didn’t settle all too well with my parents and I knew that it was also just a tad unrealistic, so I opted for the more run-of-the-mill something-in-the-sciences-I’m-not-yet-sure-what plan when I went off to college. Becoming a doctor was always in the back of my mind though. But I wasn’t sure that I had it in me. And I didn’t want to do it because my parents wanted it of me. And I was quite interested in something engineering. But in the end, after doing the appropriate pre-med things, I decided that becoming a physician was definitely what I wanted to do. […]

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by: Oh, for the love of God… » My Life, My Pace http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-16 Tue, 16 May 2006 19:56:52 +0000 http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/04/18/sand-people/#comment-16 [...] I particularly love her description of sand people. It pains me to admit it, but I’ve been one. I’m sure I’ll be one again some time in the future. For now, I satisfy myself with spending each day trying to keep my head above ground level and shaking the debris from my ears. [...] […] I particularly love her description of sand people. It pains me to admit it, but I’ve been one. I’m sure I’ll be one again some time in the future. For now, I satisfy myself with spending each day trying to keep my head above ground level and shaking the debris from my ears. […]

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